p r e t e n d | Joji

t h i r t y

hey joji,

everything that happened after that was blurred by the endless medicines and wires keeping me and our babies alive.

all that i was sure of was that blinking was my only way of communication: once for yes,twice for no.

and that the one who spent most of his time with me was brian.

during brian's session of childhood funny stories, i would often wonder about the mysterious face i saw the first time i opened my eyes.

the exciting yet extremely hurt voice that called the doctor to check on me.

the slightest kiss that landed on my stomach before the doctor and brian appeared.

was it you, joji?

as soon as brian saw my expression, he stopped telling the story and sighed slightly.

"you're missing him again, aren't you?"

once

"you still love him, don't you?"

once

"even if he's one of the main reasons you ended up here?"

once

to this day, i don't think you even realized how much i needed you with me.

but then again, you were probably tired of pretending.

brian didn't say anything more.

he looked at the bandaid on my head and gently placed his hands on my frail face.

he held my hand through the wires and placed it on my stomach.

"it's funny how many years it took me to realize i've never stopped loving you."

"we'll get through this together."

once

he bent over and ever so slightly pushed his lips against mine.

and despite how close i was to death, i felt as alive as ever.

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a u t h o r' s  n o t e s

thank you so much for reading this far :)

i actually wrote a joji version of this chapter.

but i figured brian should get some credits.

i'm still deciding on the ending and would really value you guys' opinions.

feel free to leave them in the comments.