p r e t e n d | Joji

a l t e r n a t e e n d i n g pt.2

-R E A L I Z A T I O N -

haru sat there while joji explained himself. her expressions ranged from being shocked of how fragile he saw her to being angry he left her just because of that.

his responses to her questions just branched out to an infinite amount of questions she was too overwhelmed to ask.

he raised his eyebrows as if he noticed her unusually long silence.

she noticed the concern that glistened in his eyes but chose to ignore it anyways.

_____________

joji didn't just notice the unusual silence in the room, he also noticed the coldness in haru's eyes.

he knew she craved warmth and he usually gave which had the ability to melt the coldness in her eyes.

but he wondered why he was the one causing that coldness today.

they allowed silence to occupy themselves as he worried and she wondered.

_____________

"do you think i'm that weak?" were the only words that managed to come out of haru's mouth.

she tried to press down the anger that was filling up her being,

she tried to push down the tears that were on the verge of falling through her face

she tried to stare at joji without her heart falling out of her chest.

at that moment, she tried until trying became a part of her.

_____________

joji saw haru's effort to hold herself together and realized how much strength it must've taken her.

why didn't he see it sooner - the amazing strength she had.

why didn't he realized how much strength she must've had to endure all the waves of chaos that came into her life all these years.

why didn't he realize how much strength it took for her to be lying here, pregnant and enduring the pains of her recent surgery.

but most importantly, how didn't he not realize that the weak person here is him.

him, who felt the need to leave the love of his life in order to solve a problem.

him, who could not distinguish between love and weakness.

he
was
the
weak
one.
at that moment, joji pulled haru's body towards him and held her tight.

he held her and embraced her entire being, as if she was going away and never returning.

he held her and for the first time, appreciate the strengths she has. the strength his arrogant self was to weak to acknowledge.

_____________

haru was surrounded by joji's warm embrace.

for the first time since he left, she felt his genuine warmth, the one she fell in love with that night in the rain and the same one she fell in love with again and again since then.

all of the emotions that she had pressed down was released all at once as she sobbed on his strong shoulder, tears soaking his hoodie.

he patted her back gently as if he knew that was exactly the way to put her soul at peace.

"you're the strongest person i know, i'm the weak one," he admitted. his voice as soothing ever.

haru could feel joji's tears on her shoulder as he spoke those words.

she felt the joji she fell in love with slowly coming back.

_____________

joji slowly pulled himself out of haru and held her face with his hands.

although frail from the morning sickness and all the medicines she had to take, there was still an undying brightness in her eyes.

and at that moment, he realized the darkness his life has turned to when he left her.

she was his light, but he wasn't her strength.
.
.
.

-author's notes-
hey!
thank you so much for reading!
sorry the updates weren't consistent, i kinda had a writer's block for a few months.
finals are coming up so i'll most likely update after finals!