The Good Boy And The Bad Girl

Chapter 38 | Let you down

C H A P T E R 3 8
| L E T Y O U D O W N |
L A N A

I opened the front door and stood inside the house.

I took a deep breath and shuffled to where i heard noise.

Mom stood with her back to me as she held her phone next to her ear.

I quickly moved behind the wall so she couldn't see me.

"Look I'm sorry Rachel. I didn't mean anything I said back there. You know better than anyone that I tend to take my anger out on others" mom spoke into the phone. She sounded a tiny but sincere making the situation weird. Well at least she's trying.

I couldn't help feel like a weight had been lifted from my shoulder. She actually listened to me.

I walked to my room and called Maya.

"Hello?"

I lay on my bed. "Where'd you run off to? I went to your house and you weren't there"

She seemed happier. "I was on a date"

"Spare me the details please. I've had the most.." I stopped finding the right words "worst yet amazing day today"

"That sounds eventful. Do tell"

"Well" I drawled out. "I had a date with Luke this morning and he asked me to be his girlfriend-" a loud squeal interrupted me as I cringed.

"I told you! And look what happened, gosh I should be a fortune teller!" She burst out with excitement.

"Please don't" I pleaded her. What a disaster that would be.

"So that was the amazing part. What about the bad part? Unless that was the bad part, because then I officially give up on you" she rambled to herself.

"Because then I had to go to this boring event held by my mom and ended up having a huge fight with her" I finished.

Today was very.. eventful. I expected my whole holidays to be binge watching gossip girl and catching up on school work. But after having a taste of one day of my school holidays, I'm starting to question whether or not this really is holidays. When you think about it there really is only two types of holidays. One which you watch tv and eat the whole time. Or you go away on a vacation and everyday is jam packed with events.

I heard a knock on my door.

"Gotta go, see you later" I quickly ended the call.

Mom opened the door. She had a look of regret crossing her face.

It was hard to tell if she actually meant it or it's just an act. I've been watching her fake emotions for the past 18 years.

I plopped my phone next to me and fiddled with my nails.

What else was I meant to do? Act like nothing happened and smile? That would be acting.

She walked in more and sat on the edge of my bed. "I'm sorry for the way I acted. I was wrong to say all those things. I shouldn't of said or acted like that"

She waited for my response. "Are you lying or is this actually sincere?" I asked.

She frowned as though she had no clue as to what I was saying.

I continued. "Look I know right now your trying to be a different person but you don't have to. I'm not forcing you to change, you are who you are. Sure, you haven't been great, but it's impossible to change. It's what makes you.. you" I honestly replied.

I wanted to so desperately use my example of how she's wanting me to change but I knew it wouldn't end well. I have tried changing but I'm still the same person, just putting on a good act.

I could tell she knew what I really meant when a flash of regret crossed her eyes. It was a subtle way of putting it.

She looked deep in thought. "You know I'm doing this for your own good" she tried reasoning herself.

There's always an excuse. She can never take the advice or take the blame.

"You wanted to be a better mother yet you lost me the day you told me to change" I replied sharply.

I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

She looked quite shocked. She didn't hide the hint of sadness in her tone as she ducked her head rather ashamed. "I'm sorry I let you down"

She didn't argue nor did she make an excuse.

She quietly got up and stood by the door as she turned around to say something.

"I accepted an offer from someone which your not gonna like. Instead of looking at them look at why I did it. I figured they needed help and I thought, that you'd be proud that I've done something to help someone in need" she spoke in a calm tone.

To be honest she sounded quite broken. She shut the door as I plopped my head on my pillow.

I hate the feeling when your angry yet you feel bad for them. Because right now mom's making me feel this way. I knew she was trying, I just can't accept the future she's made for me. She didn't want me to choose my own path, she had to be in control.

My mind shifted to another thought. What offer from someone?

The whole fact that she said I wasn't gonna like, it scared me.

(A/N)

So now it's starting to get dramatic, the next chapters will hopefully not be boring.
Anyway, thoughts on Lana's mother? Do you take pity on her or is karma finally taking it's place with her?
And what about the deal?

Updating soon.
Remember to comment and vote.
~ Ashley.