Im not okay

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No I'm not okay
Why am I not okay
Why can't people be like me
Why don't people give second chances anymore
I made a mistake
I feel guilty for my mistake
I've felt remorse
I want to fix it
But they won't let me
3 times this happens to me
My two best friends
The love of my life
I made a mistake
But I don't get a second chance
I didn't do anything that bad
I never cheated.
I never physically hurt someone
I made a decision
It blew up in my face
No matter how many friends I have
That say they're with me
I feel empty
I can't feel whole anymore
I look forward to small events to keep my mind off of it
But I don't really gave him to get excited with me
He got excited when I did
He didn't understand it or make an attempt but if I was happy that's all he cares about
Why would I leave him
Why won't he take me back
Why did I lose my best friend
Why am I so toxic.
Why can't I just be happy

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