Prologue

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'' Memories which fade with time

but are still etched in our mind,

Nothing in the world can destroy it.

But sometimes we are the only one who defies it''.

Time has an inherent ability to bestow changes in miraculous ways however the memories stay stagnant regardless The way we grew was way different in every single term.

The life you lead was fast pace unlike me but I saw your reflection on the back of my head in the clear gaze of the mirror. These stories, I write now are just threads woven into warm blankets of memories that soothe me now when the cold night of reality haunts me.

The flickering rays of sun seeping through the curtains create shadows ignites the melancholic thoughts constantly whirlpooling, twisting, churning from the joyous summer day laughter to crying-to-sleep night parties.

The paper boats we used to make in childhood folding the paper into an equivalent square to a perfect boat for a happy sail, that once I assumed will be our happy abode.

Yes, those wishes which I wrote on the perfect fold of our paper boat in hopes that it will float forever and my dreams to stay with him you will never sink. But guess what?

It sank

And the ink of wishes dissolved just like every single inch of my heart shattered into pieces which I never thought could mend and with every passing moment the ink faded, just like my dream of 'us', little by little discoloring the puddle into various shades of grey, from dark to light. Until it decided to sync a perfect harmony with the grey sky.

But like people say ' sun shines the brightest where it least likely too'.

We met again just to part ways yet again.

I wished we could go back in time and attend our biology class where I sat back on the last bench and again redefine why that class... remember the class where we learned about the structure of the heart? Yeah, that was so intriguing to me.

Back then I was naive to understand why it was so interesting to me, the flow of blood in ventricles and veins.

But now, now I think clear. I was never really interested in circulation. I was interested in a matter of hearts.

It was you, whom I always looked upon, having a wish that someday, SOMEDAY a deja-vu would happen and you'd know the feeling I've nurtured for you all along.

But nothing like deja-vu happens. Does it?

No, I suppose, still, this fragile boat sails, set aboard even if it's just the same old small puddle to sail upon just to drown again with every dream and hope of us I wrote on every fold of that paper boat, just to be erased and dissolved along with my muffled cries and curses at 2 am.

At least it has a hope, a purpose to hold on to its anchor and move forward. Maybe.

Love, love was never easy. It has never been easy for me. People always suggested believing in karma.

'Every good you do come back to you in one way or the other' they say. In one way or the other, I kept trying. I never had any selfish desire for anything until and unless I believed this old saying. But 'good'. Now I wonder what this 'good' really meant.

Was it a story that ended long before it started because the author didn't refill the ink of the only single pen he had?

Or was it a story of a simple girl, me, who loved a boy ever since she met? Or a story of a girl who refused the concept of love at first sight but did fall for it when she had her first encounter?

Or was it being a game of hide-and-seek, where she always was one step behind to seek something she always wanted?

I wonder, how things meant to be?

Was that all good to drain to nowhere but only in vain, or was I suppose to be nothing but just a shunt in his life?

I wonder, why I rant so much about you.

It's 20 years now. The only place I see you is the photo frame on my nightstand.

I swear our story could be more than it had been. But before that could happen, you had a flight to catch, and I.

I was already home.

Your world works faster than mine. My entire life can end in the blink of your one single second. You were fast, and I was scared.

We could be a simple sweet couple a long time back, before we knew it, I was a college intern and you left for a new adventure.

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