Deal with it

8 of November

Ah. I'm sorry, let me listen to the most beautiful lyrics I've heard this week. Oh my *fucking* God. (I'm tired and this is making me feel really weird because of my tiredness. Oh my God.) And yes, I know about the myth/legend. It's still such a beautiful song.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Starring at the wall far away from me, I finally let a tear fall, alone, like I should always be. I'm not meant to be with people, am I? Fuck. Why does this always happen?

The wind blows, the sun slowly setting. As if it wasn't bad enough, it's getting even darker... as if it wasn't enough.

I look up the stars, keeping my face unmoved in case someone is watching.

"Fuck this," I whisper.

The air does answer. Nor does someone.

"Fuck everything," I whisper, slightly louder.

I close my eyes, listening around for movement. There is the sound of a gun shot, a bird flying and slight cursing. Clearly, some people decided to go hunting at the worst time of the day. First of all, it's so quiet that even a step would scare the animals, especially birds. Second of all, this is just a shit time to go as a whole, especially in November.

I open my eyes at a sound. I look up. A bird flies over me.

Go bird. Asshole didn't deserve you anyway, they were too idiotic for you.

"Why does this keep happening? I can't hit one! Fuck!"

"That's like the twelfth bird you've tried. Let me have a go."

The next gun shot does not leave anything to be said but silence, meaning this time, the shot hit the target.

"How are you so good at it? I want to be able to do that someday."

"I learned from my father. Now, lets take it."

The steps seem to go over to me, not that I'll fucking move out of the way. So, I close my eyes, keeping my place.

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought I could have a fucking moment of peace but apparently you have to go shooting, when it's the most quiet part of the night. Animals hear you from miles away, idiots," I say.

"That's awfully rude of you."

I don't answer, eyes still closed. Maybe if I don't move, these two idiots in life will just fuck off and leave me alone.

"Hey! Boy!"

Apparently I won't be having such luck today.

"Look, I got into a fight with my boyfriend, my family is going to shit. I don't have the temper to actually deal with you, I did five years of self defense though. Could you just fuck off and leave me alone?" I ask.

I open my eyes and show both of them the middle finger.

"Now just fuck off with the bird you're holding and get wherever you need to, I don't feel like dealing with your bullshit," I say.

I close my eyes, hearing their steps again, leaving me alone, finally.

"Finally," I say.

I fall back, looking up at the stars with the ghost of a possible smile on my face. It feels kind of calming to be looking at them, like it's always been.

"I kn-knew I would find you around here."

"Wow, that's a surprisingly intact sentence," I say.

I look at him.

"Sit down, if you want to," I say.

He slowly sits next to me, surprisingly calm looking.

"Look. I'm sorry. That, I said it. I was wrong and I should admit to being wrong, when I am. And I'm not going to even excuse my actions, not at all. You were right, I was wrong, as simple as that," I say.

"You-You're rambling," he says.

"I know. I normally don't do that," I say, simply.

"I was wrong too," he says, clearly putting a lot of focus to not be as shaky as normally.

"No, you weren't. I should learn to show affection and all. Everything just is... harder than it looks, let's just say that," I say.

"I-I'm putting *gah* too much pressure on you," he says.

"It shouldn't be too much. It's easy for others. Why is it so hard for me then? I don't understand, why I'm shaped like I am, trust me, I don't want to be," I say.

"We're al-all a little diff-different," he says.

"I-. Why is it so fucking hard? Why can't it be just like everyone else?" I ask.

"C-Calm down, Craig," he says.

"Wouldn't you normally be the one I say that to?" I ask.

He nods, still spazzing out slightly. Making it a little harder to see, if it's a nod, if you don't know him. Luckily, I do.

"I love you. I don't know. That's the best I can do," I say.

"You're just more *Gah* of a person *gah* to do actions," he says.

"Calm down, Honey. You're going close to spaz level again," I say.

"It's *gah* n-not go-good to b-be out this late," he says.

"Breath. Do you need coffee?" I ask.

He breaths in and out. I take his hand.

"If you don't want to be out, we can go home," I say.

He gets up, taking me with him due to the huge height and slight strength difference.

"Ow," I say, moving my shoulder to get it back around to it's place.

"I'm sorry! I forgot!" He says.

"Honey, no worry. I didn't get hurt, don't worry," I say.

The things I'd do for this man. Well, the things I do for this man.

"Well. My home is closer," I say.

He nods and we start walking, hand in hand, like always.

"How come you came there to look?" I ask.

"I recognize your voice. And I knew you would be somewhere around here," he says.

"That's a long sentence to not spaz out on," I say.

He smiles at me, I can just hope that I smiled back... at least somewhat. That would be awkward, if I didn't.