Lynne

Chapter 11

I woke up once at three a.m. Then again at four thirty. Again at five. My restlessness was unbearable, and every time I thought sleep had finally found me, I opened my eyes again.

When I finally decided to give up, I sat up in bed. The window past Len's sleeping figure showed only the first signs of daylight. The clock read five forty-five. I had about thirteen hours until showtime.

My stomach lurched. Don't think about it.

Rubbing at my eyes, both out of nervousness and exhaustion, I rolled out of bed for a shower. I didn't worry about waking Len. I could scream at the top of my lungs right now and he still wouldn't even flinch.

The steamy shower woke me up, but only muddled my mind more. I wasn't even nervous anymore. It was almost like a state of shock. My mind was filled with a deep fog; the kind where I would stick my hand out in front of my face, and it's become invisible. There were no complete or coherent thoughts I could pick up. If zombies were real, I imagined they'd feel like this.

I smelt better now, thanks to the fancy hotel soaps, but I was in no better of a mood. In fact, I wasn't in any mood at all. I was just... awake. Moving. Not really thinking.

There was nothing to do in the apartment, so, after dressing back into the pajamas I'd slept in, left the room. My keycard slipped into my pocket as I shut the door.

The hallway was empty. I wasn't surprised. The clerk had told us there was a breakfast room on the fifth floor, and I wondered if it had a deck. I imagined so. That's what I needed. Fresh air.

My feet aimlessly wandered down the hallway to the elevator. As I pressed the button, the first solid thought entered my mind,

Sandanjuu to terekyasutaa, kotoba no seirestsu anhappii...

Lyrics. To the song I'd be singing in less than twenty four hours. Much less than twenty four hours.

The elevator doors dinged open. This time, I was not the only person on the floor, but it still felt like it. Glass double-doors stood straight ahead of me. My feet moved towards them.

A flash of cold rushed at me. An important factor I hadn't even considered was that mornings in the mountains were like mornings in the winter back in the city. Goosebumps rose up on my arms, and the short sleeves of my shirt did nothing to protect me. But, in my zombie-fied state, I didn't care.

All of the tables and chairs were metal, making the matters even worse. The chilled chair sent another wave of shivers up my spine as I sat down. My still-wet hair didn't help, either.

Despite the cold, it was a beautiful morning. The mountains surrounding the city had only just begun to become more than just dark silhouettes against a star-filled sky. Their features, such as their snow capped peaks and precise tree-lines, were becoming clearer in the emerging daylight. The rooftops of the buildings, as well as any furniture on top of them, was covered in a thin layer of frost. There was the occasional passerby on the sidewalks below, but, for the most part, the scene was peaceful, chilly, and uninterrupted.

I took a deep breath in, welcoming the freezing air into my lungs. The first step to clearing my foggy mind was to recognize that it needed to be cleared.

Okay, Rin, I thought to myself. You're nervous. It's normal. Of course it's normal. You're going from being just some random person to being-

I cut myself off. My breath formed a cloud in front of me as I let it out. That was exactly what the others thought. They thought that being on stage made them special. Those screaming fans fed their ego. That's why they acted the way they did. I wouldn't let it happen to me.