Lynne

Chapter 29

 It hadn't snowed in over a week back home, but it was still much too cold for the blanket of white to melt. So, when we had returned home, it was exactly how we left it. The apartment was freezing as we stepped into it, finally, at 3 am. Without even bothering to unpack or change, Len threw his bags by the door to his room, and passed out on the couch. I didn't blame him. It was a long drive. Soon enough, after organizing myself a bit more, I joined him.

I was the last to go to sleep and the first to wake up. As I sat in the kitchen, sipping my coffee and looking out the window, I let out a single content sigh. We were out. It was official, I guess. Although sneaking around had been fun and all, I imagined being able to hold hands and kiss in front of the others would be much more fun. I smiled at the thought.

It was still so early, the sky was barely brightening over the city. There were no sounds of traffic, no shouts, no dogs barking. Interested, I carefully plucked a blanket from the couch, careful not to wake Len, and pushed open the back door, exiting onto the porch for probably the second time, ever.

The cement was cold on my bare feet. From the second the cold air hit me, I knew I wasn't going to be able to stay out long. My blanket and my coffee were the only things keeping me warm.

I stopped at the railing, looking down with a shiver. Never before had I realized just how high off the ground I lived. With my spinning head, I looked back up, promising myself not to do that again.

It was the dead of winter. My breath formed in clouds in front of me, my coffee steam rose high into the air before disappearing. Len had shovelled the deck (thank God, or my feet would be frozen by now) and it's bare surface stood out against the entire white world in front of me. The Holidays are coming up, I thought with a smile.

But then my smile disappeared once I remembered that my parents weren't in the city I was admiring that morning. No, they were thousands of miles away in sunny California. Will I go there to see them? The idea of leaving the Vocals, leaving Len, though, was enough to make me reconsider. I wish I could just spend the morning with my parents and then come home, I thought. It was pointless, though, unless I wanted to bear through a two-hour plane ride on Christmas day. The idea was as pleasing as throwing myself off this ledge. Not very.

During my mental battle, I had failed to notice that the sun had finally risen over the horizon. I was looking at, but not seeing, the city lights go out.

"Cold?" Hell must have frozen over, because Len, sleepy eyed Len, had woken up before noon today.

"What are you doing awake?" I asked over my shoulder. He was still in his clothes from the drive home. Only his shoes had been discarded before he fell asleep.

He shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I felt you leave."

I frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

I returned my eyes to the city. His footsteps echoed behind me, fore he wrapped his arms around me, looking down with me.

"Is something wrong?" He asked after a few moments.

I let out a deep breath. "I miss my parents," I admitted.

"You want to go see them? We can go-"

"No, no. It's okay. Just, with the holidays coming up..."

He nodded in understanding.

"...I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Why don't you go out there for, like, a week?"

"I don't want to leave you guys." I hated having to choose between my family and... my family.