Was Never Enough

Dinner

Alyssa: I was really upset by Lisa's words and I was almost going to cry when Kaden came inside . By the look of my face he realised that something bothered me and that I was upset .

"Ally what's the matter . You know you can always tell me "he whispered these words into my ears hugging me .

It really helped me to calm myself so I just smiled back to him and then he had that satisfied look on his face and I knew that he was convinced by his efforts.

Then he told me about the dinner and we both went downstairs to join the rest .

As we were the last to arrive I was forced to sit between Lisa and Kaden and Blake was sitting right in front of me and he was simultaneously looking between Lisa and me . He seemed a bit tensed and confused , again and again looking between the both of us . As if he was deciding on something.

He then looked at me and mouthed "sorry Al" .

Just two simple words were enough to lift my mood in a second. I tried to react normally but the glittering in my eyes couldn't help it . Blake easily noticed it and passed me another heart melting smile .

I couldn't just drag it further when I am sitting right next to Lisa but I am sure Jessica would be more than happy with this . I shifted my attention from Blake to Kaden. I was engaged in a conversation with Kaden about his new college , friends and the interest in maths similar to me . While Lisa and Blake were discussing about some business trips here and there .
Then suddenly Jacob our butler came up with a bottle of champagne and poured it for all of us, it was one of the most expensive bottle that my father owned for which he always said that "it was for a special occasions like the arrival of president or something ".

I was really excited to know what was going to happen. Then he stood up raising a toast and we were just waiting for him to start.

" I would like to raise a toast to the bond and friendship that we share with the Jensen and I would also like to declare that we would like convert this friendship to something of next level by announcing the marriage of Blake Jensen and my beautiful daughter Lisa . We love you both and hope you two would respect our decision ."

And this was the moment where I literally died . I could not hear anything else and I just saw every one clapping and hugging each other .
I could also see Blake and Lisa smiling to each other and then Lisa hugged me really tightly and I could sense that even she was a bit shaken up. I just hugged her back and congratulated Lisa .

Then we were all in the lawn and Lisa and Blake were dancing together to celebrate the moment . My mom and dad looked the happiest and same emotions could be seen on Mr and Mrs Jensen's face . I realised that I should just forget everything for my sister and be with her on her day .
So I just stood their smiling and clapping for them .
And after the dance blake officially proposed to her and placed the ring on her finger and they both looked good together.

I could not express my feelings at that moment. I was really happy for my sister that she got to be with the one she loved and she'll be happy but the fact that now I would have to sacrifice all my feelings for him , hide it for Lisa and had to finally move on just made me sad .

Looking at them I promised myself that I'll move on and be happy for them always .

Oh god if your listening please give me the strength to always be with my sisters side and not fall for Blake ever again .

Everyone was happy but I could still feel my sister being confused . She was staring at her ring for a really long time and I tried asking her if she needs something or someone to talk to but she just saw me and hugged me tightly . Blake stood next to Lisa while we hugged and smiled at both of us . When I looked towards him I congratulated him again and tease him about the fact that he'll be the one changing his surname to ours and not Lisa .

He just shook his head and drifted away with something on his mind .

Later we all went off to our rooms and the moment I entered my room I was in tears . I locked the door and just slide down on the floor where I ended up crying .

In the middle of the night I woke up, due to the uncomfortable posture in which I was sleeping. So I just went inside the washroom to splash some water on my face .

I removed my glasses and splashed water thrice to get back to my senses. I was in shock when I looked at myself my eyes were all puffed up due to all the crying and last night was all in my head again and tears rolled up in my eyes .
So I splashed some water again and went downstairs in the kitchen to get a glass of water and some icecream (cause it is the only solutions of such problems that I know of ) .

I poured myself a glass , finished it and then I grabbed the largest bucket of icecream that was in the refrigerator and a spoon .
I was heading towards my room when I saw the gate to the lawn was open , I kept my icecream bucket on the table to close the door but as I reached their I found Blake in deep thoughts . Again tears rolled up so I was about to go away unnoticed when I bumped into the door and cursed . I heard steps approaching towards me and I just wanted to run but stopped at the voice
"Al is it you? are you okay?" I could sense concern in his voice .
"Yeah Blake I am fine anyway I was leaving" I some how managed to say .

" No Al please stay with me for some time " he said grabbing my hand .
His soft hands holding my wrist just send shivers down my body . I just removed it abruptly as more tears started to come up .
" s s s sorry bb but I I have to sleep" I said hiding my emotions and with that I grabbed my bucket and ran upstairs . I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't have any other option cause if I stayed their with him, he would know my feelings and maybe the marriage doesn't take place . I can't do this to Lisa I told myself.

I just switched on televisions and land up with some movie with lots and lots of blood and death which helped shift my mood from a crying one to one of disgust.