He kept hugging me again and again. I wasn't complaining either. The physical contact of his being their touched some parts of my heart which had turned into a vacuum.
We didn't go back to Udaipur when our families left. We figured we needed some time with each other, and I didn't know I wanted to go back. He didn't know either.
We had tried our best to keep our families united, we had tried our best to shower all the love, but somehow our families failed to do so.
He had brought me to his room. I had shifted my luggage with him. He had even gotten the Kaira home name plate for us. Just like old times. But sometimes the guilt of causing so much pain to him overtook me, how could I have caused so much pain to the man I claim to love? At times I can even read the same emotion in his eyes.
But it wasn't the guilt that had broken the barrier. No. We had both known each others sides of stories for quite sometime, even apologised, but somehow it didn't fit to just go back to him, because he apologised, or because he didn't hold me guilty.
I didn't know if I loved him enough, but seeing him sick because of what he did to himself, seeing him in the hospital bed, I realised that there is nothing at all that I would ever want more than him.
If he were with me, I can and would fight with everyone and everything. On the college prom night, he had asked me for a date, and standing on his feet, I danced after 2 years for the first time.
The happiness of just being able to sway to the music had caught me. I realised that I did not, not dance because I couldn't. I could deal with physical pain. But I was never happy enough, my dance was my let go of my emotions, but with him away, my emotions had decided to stay with him, and so had the dance.
It was still difficult, the pain sometimes got me, but he always stood there, giving me a helping hand and urging me to get back. He didn't back away, seeing my pain, he knew that this pain would provide me happiness, but neither did he back away from my after care.
To be truthful, I liked dancing better, because I knew after I am done with the carefully timed sessions of Mr. Kartik Goenka, he would be there, waiting with ice, balm and bandages, taking utmost care of me.
He was still fighting with his habits. He had been drinking constantly for two years and that had taken a toll upon him. He still craved for it, but knowing the same bottle was kept in my drawers, filed with exact same amount of whiskey, which would be compared and corrected in a fashion he wouldn't like, every 6 hourly, deterred him.
Now that we were together, I would be able to help him better I'm sure, after all, in my presence dare he had another addiction.
I was in my flat collecting the last few things, when I saw those teddies. I didn't need them anymore. I finally had my own teddy to hold and cuddle. I was reminded of the last time he was here. And had told me in intoxicated state to throw them away, I hugged the teddy, getting a little happy that this was a goodbye to it.
That's when he knocked, "I'm better than it." He smirked.
"Oh I don't know, I was pretty comfortable." I replied.
He came and sat next to me, pushing my chin up and asked, "Were you?"
"Yes" I told him, defiantly. I wasn't about to tell him, that I was just missing him, when the last I had seen him was 5 whole minutes ago.
"You mean to say, you weren't missing me?" He asked again, his tone husky.
"Nope. Why would I? I just saw you." I whispered. My control slipping away.
He took the teddy from my hands, and caught hold of my hands within his, "Really? I was already missing you so much. I thought I would check what was taking so much time?" Very sincerely. There he was, not in the mood of any defiance.
I could have told him we just were together, or that we weren't really apart to start missing, but I couldn't. I knew what he meant, I couldn't bear to stay away from him even for a second now that I had finally gotten him back.
I just melted into his arms, because that was the only reply I had. I had missed my home so much, nothing ever could offer me the solace and peace that I found in the circle of his arms. The warmth and love, of his circle was irreplaceable.
He gently dropped a kiss on my head, and my entire body tingled. I had certainly forgotten about them. But snuggled deep inside him, to rest in the crook of his neck.
"I missed you." He said. And I knew he want speaking of these 5 minutes.
"I missed you jaan" I whispered.
Only we would know what happened to us in every moment we didn't find other. When every second brought forth others memory. Each morning, from sunrise to sunset, I was painfully thrown back into his memories. Anything and everything was a potential trigger.
When he felt a leaky tear drop on his shoulder, he pulled me apart, and brushed away that traitor from my eye and kissed my forehead.
"I love you jaan." He said yet again. I didn't know what was the point of those words again and again. I knew he did. He had said so himself, quite a few times, more than that, but I had missed hearing those words so much from him that I couldn't complaint even if I wanted to.
I started pecking his cheeks, head, nose, eyes, each time punctuating with 'I. LOVE. YOU. KARTIK." When I went back after my final kiss, he caught hold of the back of my head, not allowing me to move behind.
His eyes, gazing on to my lips, he started leaning in, his breath suddenly hotter than before, I closed my eyes and bent forward and when we met, midway, the fireworks went again. My body was shoved into a familiar but oh so forgotten tingles. The nerves seemed to be on fire. Our lips had only met, we didn't go beyond that, but that was enough to ignite the long subdued passion.
Authors Notes -
Hello. Because the teaser was way too short.
Keep watching Kaira Shivin and Yrkkh
Happy reading.
