Catoptrophobia

Chapter 12

Mom was no where to be found.
Was all that I saw in my dream for real? No! This can't be. I can't kill my own parents.
A minute of silence passed. I wanted to scream but.. Obviously, there was no air in my lungs. As if a vacuum had taken their place. After the shock was over, I slowly but surely calmed down.
I need to think rationally! There was no way that all of that had actually happened.  Surely there was a more logical explanation. But then.. Where are mother and father?
As I could procrastinate no longer, I got out of my room. As I got dressed in a long white dress, I made sure to have absolutely zero contact with the mirror. Ridiculous as it was, I was still a bit unnerved from the nightmare. I headed downstairs with a sigh of relief that it was the start of a long weekend.

Knock knock

"Who is it?" I asked.
"Stacie. Open the door." It was mother.
"Where were you!?" I asked, embracing her in relief as a tear dripped down my cheek.
"I'm so sorry sweetheart. Your grandfather just passed away. Your father and I went to your grandmother's house for condolence and your father decided to stay there."
"How can you care for others, console them in times of grief and difficulty when you can't even help your own daughter!!!? Wow, mother."
"Stacie. You're living in a world full of fantasies. I will start caring for you once you step into the real world. Stop with all of this nonsense of yours. You should start taking therapy!"
"Mother.. If only you understood that this real world is more horrifying than any gruesome creature, any diabolical parasite from any of my wildest imaginations, more terrific than anything the human mind can ever conceive of."

+++

I went upstairs. With nothing else to do, I decided to bring forth my drawing supplies. I sat down on my wooden chair after bringing out the canvas and the paint tubes. I loved the freedom of painting. The feeling of each stroke combing with the next and creating a picture that said more than a thousand words ever could. Those moments where my mind could just soar freely into the abyss and I would draw art more complex than any photo.
Today was special though, my mind was
completely blank while my hand was going all over the place. A bit of red here and a dab of blue over there. I wasn't sure what was becoming of this piece but continued to let my mind soar while my hand automatically knew exactly where to go.
From what I could tell, the lines made no sense. But despite my minds confusion, my hand knew exactly what it wanted.
Fast forwarding a few hours and before me stood a picture of myself. No, not myself. Her. It was a very detailed picture of myself in the wooden framed mirror, wearing the black plaid robe from yesterday. Except, it wasn't me. It was my reflection. Staring at the abomination before me that my very own hands had created, I felt immensely sick. I threw the canvas down. It fell to the ground with a loud thud and the colour tubes that had been laying on the stand, spilled their colour everywhere, the drawing getting covered in coloured spots.
That feeling crept over me once again, that feeling of hopelessness and despair. I shouldn't have drawn that! Why? Why would my hands do that to me? I starred down at my own treacherous hands as they shook. Almost as if shaking their non-existent heads to plead innocence. I wasn't fooled by it. However, I would take no drastic measures against it. They were a part of me after all.
As my stomach grumbled l realised that noon had since long passed and evening was fast approaching.

Mother was no where to be found.. Again. Where could she be? At the mall? Shopping. Or maybe she went to dad? Or went for an appointment to the hospital. She doesn't care about me even a bit.

Wandering over to the kitchen, I made myself a couple of sandwiches, all while starring intently at my hands to make sure they weren't going to pull another stunt. Right now though, they seemed to have calmed down.

+++

The rest of the day passed on without anything really happening and as I once again entered my room the same night, I still couldn't face the mirror. Continuing to look away from it, I changed back to my pyjamas and climbed into my bed. It didn't take long before sleep overtook me.

Knock Knock