Living with the boys

Eating disorder?

"I'll have a burger with fry's and a coke" Blake orders at a very nice little restaurant he and Aidan dragged me in. Literally.

"And I'll have the same but a sprite please" Aidan orders

The waitress looks at me next and I order what I want "water" Aidan rolls his eyes and Blake speaks up "she'll have the same and a chocolate milkshake please"

The waitress walks away puts the order in.

"I'm not hungry Blake" I whisper

"Your going to try and eat" he tells me as if I was his child.

"No" I say stubborn as always.

Blake looks at me then starts a new conversation with Aidan.

"How's the races" Blake asked

"Man it's been better then ever" Aidan smiles

"The competition?" He next asked.

"There isn't much since you left. We have to get you back out there." Aidan gave Blake the man handshake as they both laughed

The waitress came out with our order of food and drinks. She hands Aidan his food first then Blake's then mine. Which I didn't want in the first place.

Blake can make me so mad sometimes. God he treats me like a child. If I wasn't hungry I wasn't going to eat. It's always been this way. So why was he being so difficult right now.

"Alley eat" Blake scolded. I felt sick to my stomach looking at all the food so I pushed Blake a little to tell him to let me out of the booth.

"No eat now" he looks so mad

"Blake please I feel sick" I begged him.

Finally he moved and I ran to the bathroom. I paced the floor till my stomach settled and the urge to puke was gone. I washed my hands and ran a wet towel over my face. Looking in the mirror I look sick and pale. My beautiful light tan skin was gone I was ghost white. My eyes had brown lines with heavy bags. My forehead had marks and my hair looked oily and dirty. I pulled out my hoodie just enough to see my stomach...

My stomach was big as if I was pregnant. Eh my legs were huge as big as my head and my arms where fat just like the rest of me. I hate myself. I'm so fat and ugly.

Tears come streaming to my face as I quickly pull my shirt down and wipe them away. I pull my sleeves up looking at my arms. They are red and sore but god did I wish I had a blade to add to those marks. Just one cut that's all I need. Just one to get my mind off it. Just one. I kept repeating that over and over then I remembered that Blake carried a pocket knife everywhere he goes. I just need to think of a reason to get it. A good one too.

So I came up with a plan a good one too. I walked out back over to the booth we had be eating at.

"Blake can I borrow you pocket knife my tag on my pants are rubbing marks" I lie hopefully he believes it.

"No" he simply says

"You can borrow mine alley" Aidan says well digging in his pocket

"No" Blake said again which makes Aidan stop and pull his hand out.

Blake moves out of the booth and pulls me in to sit.

"Why Blake" I asked even tho I had a feeling I knew why.

He pulls my arm up gently and says "this is why" I look away ashamed of myself. He knew what my plan was.

"Alley please just eat" he asked sounding almost upset