Wonderland

Chapter 7

'What the hell just happened?' I wonder to myself. I know he didn't have my apartment number but I also know he is Jared Leto, he is very resourceful. I was certain that writing that note would be an indication to him that I was not willing to pursue a... a what? A relationship, a friends with benefits, a friendship... I wasn't sure what this was, but I didn't want it to be anything. And here he was breaking all the rules of a one time fantasy being lived. I stare at him incredulously.

"You lived your fantasy, now I want to live mine." He says with a smug grin.

"Jared, you shouldn't be here.  What just happened can't happen again."

I grab my shirt and pull it back on. I can't bring myself to look at him, so I hang my head down and wait for him to leave. Except he doesn't make any move to do so. He stands there and huffs loudly instead.

"And why exactly is that Ali?"

"Because I am in my thirties and I don't want to play games anymore.  We are much too old to do that.  I'm at a point where my next relationship is going to be my last relationship.  You're a perpetual bachelor.  You can't offer what I need."

"You're putting words in my mouth here.  Did I ever say I don't want those things?"

"Not exactly, Jared.  But actions speak louder than words.  What you and Jamie did the other day was something I'd expect from college frat boys.  And even still your lack of relationships and even being seen with the same girls more than once in the media speaks volumes."

"Ali, I am a private person.  I have dated.  If you're not seeing these people in the press it is because I don't want anyone to see it.  Besides, I haven't dated much recently because no one has excited me.  You, Ali, excite me.  For four months I've thought about you.  I'm not even sure why, but I know there is a reason for it."

"How could I ever trust you?  Jared, you go out on the road and women throw themselves at you.  I couldn't live with the idea that someone I'm seeing is tempted like that.  I know men can only handle so much temptation before they give in.  I like you.  Hell I love the idea of you.  You're absolutely right that I've fantasized about you.  You've been the object of my daydreams for a long time, but I can't handle a broken heart. Not again."

"What happened to you Ali?  Whoever hurt you is not me.  I'm not that guy."

I laugh a little louder than I should have when he says that.  He is exactly like every man.  The fact that he doesn't realize that is comical.  Am I to believe that Jared Leto is the one man out there that is completely honest, never cheats, doesn't emotionally abuse, etc?  I don't buy it.

"You should go." I tell him.

Instead of leaving he walks over and plants himself onto my couch and continues to stare at me. After a few minutes I can't take it anymore and I start fidgeting with my hands. I walk into the kitchen and open the fridge. I make sure I grab one bottle of water and crack the seal. I am not offering him one because to do so would say he is welcome here and he is not. I walk back into the living room and take a sip of water.

"All I am asking is for a chance here. Open up to me and we can see if this is something that can work for us." He finally says.

I'm not one to shy away from communication so I decide he is right. He's also not giving me any reason to not at least hear him out. I should feel lucky as hell that I have him in my apartment, that he is adamant about being with me. I'm still not sure in what capacity, but I'm curious enough to find out. If I don't like what he says I can still kick him out.