Wonderland

Chapter 11

I had a really long night at the hospital. I saw Gemma's mom Paula only once and all she could tell me is they were taking Gem to surgery. That was hours ago. I had long forgotten what patience was and paced up and down the hall a few hundred times.

Gemma was a friend whom I had seen battle her share of demons over the past seven years. She came into my life during a time when we were all experimenting with drugs and alcohol. Her situation made her experimentation a little more severe. Her stepfather had been having an affair and the woman he was seeing held her and her mother at gunpoint for reasons none of us will ever know. She had her man, what more could she have wanted?

At any rate Gemma had been through some tough shit and when we had all decided drugs were overrated she had just kept spiraling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole.

We had a strong group of friends that no matter what we always got together every weekend and hung out. Nicky was handsome and the life of the party so when he and Gemma started seeing each other it wasn't a surprise to any of us. I had had a crush on him but he was much more suited for her than me.

Nicky also had his share of trouble. When he was a baby his mother smuggled drugs in his diaper from South America to North Carolina. One time a boyfriend of hers thought it'd be funny to prick him with a used heroin needle. He was sent to live with his grandparents at the age of three.

When we all stopped chasing highs for more suitable adult activities, Gemma and Nicky just continued doing drugs like it was normal. I had reluctantly left her behind for a life in tinsel town and I was regretting it more and more by the minute.

I stopped pacing and made my way back to the waiting area and saw a text from Jared. I had responded immediately but he hadn't responded back. I was beginning to wonder if he had changed his mind about coming. That would be okay although I really needed a good distraction.  At that moment I heard a cough or rather a clearing of the throat, I looked up to see the man I was so very much in love with.  I darted out of my seat and into his arms.

"Jared, thank God.  I need you to stop me from panicking."

"It's okay, I'm here now.  Shhh."  He said as he rubbed my hair and allowed me to nuzzle into his chest.

He suggested I get something to eat and a cup of coffee, I agreed.  We made our way downstairs to a cafe near the emergency room and he ordered our food.  To my surprise he also ordered a cup of coffee for himself.

"Rough night Jared?"

"Yeah I didn't get any sleep.  I don't imagine you did either?"

"No.  I can't sleep until I know something.  I saw Gem's mom earlier, but no news yet.  My friends Darlene and Heather are on their way.  They needed help with gas money to get here.  Silver Lake is 100 miles away.  The rest of our friends are probably coming too, but I haven't heard... sorry I'm rambling."

"It's okay.  So what exactly happened, do you know?"

I told him that they had been in a car accident but the details were unknown, except that Nicky died on impact. Then I told him about their sordid past and how drugs and alcohol probably played a part.  I weeped into my hands explaining to him how I felt like I could have prevented it if I had only stayed here and tried to convince her to get clean.

"Ali, there's no way to know that and besides, you're not they're keeper.  I had to learn that a long time ago with Shannon.  They seek help when they're ready.  Forcing them into sobriety only makes them angry and less likely to be successful."

He was right.  I had this mother hen persona and if I had inserted myself I may have pushed her away.  I finished my sandwich after he insisted I eat every bite and we started making our way back to the waiting area.  A few people stopped and stared at Jared while we waited for the elevators, but just as he was about to ask them for privacy or whatever else would be appropriate the doors opened.  Paula was inside.