Something Great (Larry Stylinson AU) (Boyxboy)

Chapter Four - Will You Help Me?

*****Louis' POV*****

Another lonely and uneventful day of college over! Today was probably one of the better days, I think it was due to Harry's messages. It sounds stupid I know 'you don't even know him...blah,blah,bah'. But to know that someone is caring about you is a nice feeling.

As soon as I get back to my flat, I kick off my shoes and head to the kitchen, flicking on the kettle. I start to think what it would be like to lay my hand on the burning metal it try my best not to, as I've read that people do this, and since I don't like blood... But then as the kettle light goes off, signalling it's ready, I snap out of it. What is wrong with me. I shake my head, to rid myself of those horrid thoughts. 'Remember what Harry said' I think to myself, find the good, you can do it.

See today hadn't gone to well for me. There were new people and professors around. Not good for my anxiety levels. Also many of the new students weren't that nice, they would just stare at me and then whisper to their friends. I'd hoped to get away from people like this, after I left school!

After fixing myself a tea I make my way to my room, grabbing my laptop before placing my tea by my bed and collapsing down onto it. "Ahh" I sigh, letting myself get comfortable before opening up my laptop and switching it on. While it loads up I take a few sips of my tea, appreciating the hot liquid as it soothes my throat.

As soon as my desktop screen comes to view, I quickly tap my browser and type in YouTube, just to check if any of my subscriptions have uploaded. As soon I the page loads I see the bright red '1' by my inbox. I sigh and click my inbox expecting it to be spam, but am supprised yet again by another reply from Harry. I hesitantly open the message and begin to read.

At first I am shocked and mortified that harry used my conversation with him, in a video. But as I read on, and see that he said he didn't name names and to go and watch the video and pay attention. I also notice a number in the message. It can't be, I think to myself! Why would he really care, no one cares!

I try my best to tune out some of my more negative thoughts and open up a new tab to watch the video, sipping my cooling tea as I watch.

~~~

By the time the video ends, I'm in tears, I don't know why, I guess because he sounds like he cares. I also do what he said in his Dm, listen very carefully 'don't be afraid to message me.' Easier said then done, I think to myself. I thumbs up the video, as usual, and click off the tab and go back to my inbox and Harry's message.

I hesitantly grab my phone from my jean pocket, unlocking it and going to contacts. What if this is all a joke and one of his friends has told him to do this and has given me a fake number, for me to make a fool out of myself?! I start to hyperventilate as all these thoughts come crashing down, my head feeling like it's going to explode. BREATH, Loius! Just breath, I tell myself over and over. Harry's not like that, he wants you to talk to him remember?

Ignoring my thoughts as much as I can, I enter the number from the Dm into my phone under, 'Harry, YouTube'. After this I just sit for about ten minutes at the message screen thinking if I really should write a message, but I can't think of what to type. I know I need help but I can't ask anyone for it. Then it hits me, in his Dm, Harry said if I can't put it in words send him a video. I guess I'll do that, it may be even harder than writing it, trying talk without stuttering or messing up, and having to worry about what I look like. Oh god what if he thinks I'm ugly and then makes fun of me and hates me?! Oh God!

Against my better judgement I place my phone leaning against my laptop screen and hit record. I just stare at it for a while feeling really self conscious. After a deep breath I blink slowly and begin talking.

"Erm...er, hey, I...erm...guess. I really can't do this", I whisper the last bit to myself. After another deep breath I continue. " s-soo I-I c-c-couldn't really t-t-think of what t-t-o say in a m-message but here g-goes, everything!

Thank you for what you said in your latest video. But one question why do you care no one ever cares, they pretend they do and then they go and betray you, stabbing you in the back, laugh at you, and never wanting to see or to speak to you again. You have no idea how lonely life gets having no one to talk to, no one to trust, no one you can call a friend, or what it's like to live with the constant fear of everything!" I stutter at most parts. (*A/N: I thought it would be easier to read if I didn't type it like he stuttered as its quite a long bit of text ahaah) Tears start to roll down my face but, I've stated now might as well finish,

"I just want someone to care! Or that realise that there something wrong with me.
Like earlier today, when I got home from class, I was making a cup of tea, and I was staring at the kettle thinking what it would be like to lay my skin over the burning metal. Probably would of done it too if it weren't for you! I though of what you said, think positive, find the good and what not, I guess it worked, I didn't do it, but it was close. I know I can't let it overtake me, and I do try!

And the only reason why I haven't gone back is you! I wouldn't want to tell you I did it and make you angry at me or make you feel like it's your fault I couldn't have the one thing I look forward to and look up to in life hate me"(*A/N: same with this part)

"I d-don't know what t-to d-do anymore! I n-need help!

P-please h-h-he-elp me?!" My voice breaks again, tears falling rapidly from my eyes, and I'm sniffling a lot. I try my best to cover my face and hit the stop button on the recording, finally managing after waving my hand around at my phone for a moment.

I wipe my eyes the best I can, so as to see my phone. I go back to the messaging screen and add the video as an attachment, with a small message '
this is louis(tommo69) ... Please?'

Before I can change my mind and delete the video I click send. As soon as it's sent I put my phone on silent, turn my laptop off, and since I didn't switch the light on I crawl under the covers, scrunching my eyes shut, ignoring the vibrations of my phone. I lay there for a while until I feel sleep succumb me and drift into a dreamless sleep.

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A/n: Hey sorry for the really really long wait, had some shit happen a couple weeks ago that made me feel like shit and yea but hey here's a chappie!!
Hope you enjoy, sorry if it's really depressing and short, it's currently 02:53am :/ And as usual sorry if the tense gets messed up. Vote comment and I'll talk to you in the next chapter. BYE!!!xxxxx