Missing Memories (Peterick)

12

"I want to see all of the lyrics to "Miss Missing You."

I felt my heart drop at his words. Yeah the song has parts where I talk about how much I miss him but it also was me blaming him. I don't want him to know about one of my darkest nights.

"Pete?" He said and brought me back to the conversation. "Come on, show me them."

"Patrick there not that good. I mean it's only really a chorus."

"Just let me see them" once again he gave me those puppy dog eyes and I knew I had to show him. Reluctantly, I went over to the place where I put all on my lyrics, not just the bits and pieces, and I found the notebook. When I came back with it he reached out and tried to take it but my hands were death gripped around the notebook.

"Pete?" Patrick asked as he placed his hand over mine and I finally let go. He took it and turned to the first page, where the song was, and started reading. I just stared at him. He started to look hurt and I knew I messed up. His eyes were staring at the paper. "The person that you take a bullet for is behind the trigger?" He basically whispered.

"Trick look, let me explain."he started backing up and dropped the notebook on the ground. Finally he looked me in the eyes.

"I'm sorry. I need some air" he said then turned and ran out. I went to chase after him but it felt like the air in my lungs was taken away and my heart was beating through my chest. I fell to my knees and started to break down. This can't be happening again. I tried to scream his name but no words came out. I started to cry. I wanted to do everything but could only do nothing. Visions of last time he ran out flashed through my mind and all I could think about it how I sent him away again. I barely made it through the first time. I felt my body being shook and heard my name being said repeatedly. It wasn't Patrick's voice though. I look up to see Brendon sitting next to me.

"Pete?" he said. "Pete are you ok?"

"I let him go again B. I can't believe I let him run again. I let him go"I just kept repeating those words. "It happened so fast and I wanted to stop him but I didn't. Why didn't I?"

"Pete! Listen to me." he yelled, "Patrick is ok. He's just sitting outside in my car. He was sitting on the porch but it's raining. What happened?"

"I-i Showed him the lyrics I wrote for Miss Missing You. The whole chorus. He ran out and I just broke down. The you came in. Why are you here?"

"I wanted to show you something. Do you remember those songs I showed you a long time ago?" I nodded, "Well I finally finished everything and I wanted you to be the first to have the album." he said and got up and walked over to the door. He then grabbed out a disc from a bag that he must have brought in when he arrived and handed it to me. I looked at the cover and saw a black and white photo of Brendon smoking a cigarette but the smoke is rainbow. And the title "Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die!" was written across the top.

"Wow Brendon. This is really cool."

"Thanks but that doesn't matter right now." I gave him a confused look. "You need to go talk to him."

"Brendon he hates me now!"

"You and I both know that he could never hate you. For god sakes it's Patrick were talking about! Go talk to him."

"And say what?"

"The truth." I opened my mouth again to fight back but I knew he was right, so I made my way out the door and to the car. Patrick was sat in the passengers side seat so I jumped in the driver's seat and looked at him. He didn't look at me. He just looked at his hands on his lap. We sat there in silence for about a minute before I finally spoke.

"Patric-"

"Do you hate me?" He finally looked over at me with tears in his eyes.

"Patrick no"

"Well for the longest time I thought you hated yourself and blamed yourself for what happened to me, which actually killed me. It killed me because It wasn't your fault and I knew it was mine because I was stupid to go out that late by myself with no phone or anything. Then I read that you basically think of me as the one who made your life hell." tears were streaming down his face. "I know I fucked up and it haunts me everyday, but I never wanted you to hate me."

"Patrick just let me explain." I begged and he went back to silence. "Look I already told you how terrible it was when you were gone. It actually tour me apart. And I know that the lyrics make it seem I blamed you. And I guess for awhile I did, but It was just my way of hiding the fact that it was my fault that we ever got into that fight that night because if we didn't you wouldn't have left!"

"I don't get how you could blame yourself when we both had the argument! I could have been either of us that stormed out Pete!" at this point we were yelling.

"Yeah but it was my fault because I was to afraid!"

"Afraid of what?"

"Afraid to tell you that I loved you and I didn't want you to go out with whoever you were going with that night!" I didn't realize what I said until the silence hit. Patrick just stared wide eyed at me and I felt like I was going to break down again.

"You loved me?" he said but was no longer yelling.

"Yeah I did. And I guess I still do." now I was the one looking down at my lap. My heart was beating through my chest and I wanted to run. Then all the sudden Patrick put one hand over mine and the other on my cheek. Before I knew it he was closing the gap between us and we were kissing. I pulled back for a second and he pulled away scared.

"I'm sorry" he said.

"Don't be. This is perfect" I said before I started kissing him again.

AN: It took me so freaking long to write this chapter but I'm actually so happy with how it turned out. a little dramatic but its a fanfiction so what do ya expect?? Also I wanted to say another huge thank you to everyone that has been voting because now this story is at #139 on the triggers tag and that crazy.

QOTD: Any fic recommendations? I need some new good ones to read. Doesn't just have to be FOB. 

I have a whole section of stories that I read and liked so If your ever bored check it out.