Don't Call Me Baby

1 | EVERYTHING STARTS WITH A PARTY

Honestly, knowing that you'll have to leave all of your friends behind sucks. 

And I so happen to have to do that in only a few short days. 

Now, don't get me wrong; being able to go to my dream university is not something I'm ungrateful for, but the separation from everything that I've ever known makes my heart throb uncomfortably in my chest. 

"Do you want to grab food before that party?" My mom asks and turns around from her driver's seat with a gentle yet worried expression. 

"No, thanks. I don't feel like eating anything." I mumble and show her a small smile that lingers on my red-colored lips only for a short while. In the awkward silence that fills the car as she continues on the road, I fumble with my chapped nail polish and sigh in a mixture of excitement, worry and anticipation. I truly haven't had an appetite for the last few days and I don't know if it's my confused heart or my confused head that is making me gag at the sight of food. 

"I'm concerned, Jordan. You haven't been behaving like yourself lately and I can't understand why." My Mom, Sarah, tries to strike a conversation once again. I close my eyes and let my head fall back onto the head rest, but I don't say anything in return. I'm tired of hearing the same thing over and over again, but for some reason I can't tell Mom what really bugs me. Every time I go to her with the intention to speak, I open my mouth and close it like a fish a few times only to step back and ask her something completely random that I think of on the spot. She'd always look at me suspiciously, especially that one time I just blurbed out 'Where are the bananas?' to which she slowly responded (as if I wasn't going to understand if she talked any faster):' They're on the counter, literally right next to you.' And yes, the bananas were placed in a basket to my right. This was awkward enough that I almost thought telling her that I have a giant crush on a guy would be less painful to discuss. 

"So?" She tries again, her voice is suddenly stern but her eyes remain glued to the road. "I know you've been trying to talk to me for a while now. Jesus, I still remember that time you asked about the bananas. That was weird." 

"Wow, thanks Mom. So nice of you to say." But I laugh anyway. I love Sarah Blue with my entire heart and that bluntness of her is simply a part of her charm. She's beautiful but not in your typical way: she doesn't have the suburban mom hairstyle, nor does she have a particularly pretty face, but she is beautiful in her own inperfect way. When I was younger, I used to get picked at for the freckles that awkwardly cover only half of my nose, but after I found out that Mom's cover only the opposite side of her own face, I realized that this is something special that I shouldn't think of as ugly. Some Mom's share common features with their daughters like eyes, nose, lips but me and Sarah, we share half-faced freckles.

"Listen, Mom." I take in a deep breath, dreading that it's about to be the moment of truth. "There's this boy-"

"Jordan Blue!" She steps on the brakes and I look at her with wide eyes, thinking about how I managed to piss her off with a few words. She then turns to me and I exhale deeply. I thought she was mad, but instead she starts laughing. "Were those the big news that you've been hiding all this time? That you like someone?" 

"Well...yeah." I reply dumbly as I realize that this was what I feared would happen. Parents tend to not understand how difficult liking someone could get. Especially when other people get involved. They seem to have forgotten their own teenagehood, because for some reason they just never get it. "It's not that simple, you know."

"I know it's not, my blue birdie. But it's something that all of us go through at one point in time. Don't worry, you'll soon get over it when you pack and fly to Cali!" A smirk creeps on her face and she winks at me with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "I can definitely promise you that California guys are better." 

I am stuck between wanting to laugh and cringe at her comment. I'm sure she thinks that the guys there are better as my dad, Caleb, is born and raised in Cali. Him and mom met when she had her summer job at a bar on the coast. Everything else in history. 

"I can't really fit Archer with any of those guys there. He's...well, he's hard to describe." I put my index finger to my lips, as I think of this cute face of his. A smile emerges on my lips before I can stop it but my mom's curiosity snaps me out of my day dream. "He is a strange mixture of your typical boy next door and a bad boy. Does this even make sense?" 

She nods thoughtfully, as if trying to imagine what he looks like. "Yeah, I get it. You've always had a thing for bad boys, Jordy." 

"Mom, I've had one real boyfriend and that was in the first grade. Are you about to say that Michael Fillato was a bad boy with his red cheeks, blonde curls and hawaiian shirts that I still think he stole from his dad's wardrobe?" 

"Well, Mike was a cutie and I think those shirts suited him very well." She tries to explain but we both end up burst out laughing. Even the attempt at comparing Michael to Archer is incredibly ridiculous. 

"So, tell me what is that Archer guy like?" Mom turns to me again and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Does he treat you badly?" 

"No, mom. It's just that...I feel like everybody loves him and I am no match for all the cool girls that surround him on a daily. Even on this party today...I'm sure he's already making out with someone who is way hotter than me."

"Honey, first of all: you're beautiful and let me tell you that beauty is way more precious than sex appeal in the long run. Second of all: if he did have anything for you, he wouldn't have gone kissing others. It sounds like he's the type of guy to be sweet to you when no one is watching, so he could keep you as one of his options and you, Jordan Blue, are more than an option."
She ends her rant by caressing my cheek and going in for a big bear hug. I sense the scent of peach from her shampoo and I feel at home. 

Secured.

Safe.

And late for a party.

"I think we should get going, because everyone will be asleep before I even get there." 

"Yeah, got it, honey. I'm sure you're worrying you might not get to talk to your friends." She puts the emphasis on the word friends and a smile graces her thin lips. She doesn't even know that none of my friends are attending.

"Stop teasing me." I demand and cross my arms in front of my chest as if I'm a four-year-old and mom is taking me to Disneyland, when in fact I'm eighteen and I'm going to a huge graduation party. 

I didn't get to go to prom with a date because I refused the invitations, being too invested in Archer. 

On the steps towards the house, as the music threatens to explode from within the walls, I can only hope I had made the right choice.