Part of the Family Business (A Supernatural Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty One

I nervously pick at the sheets on my hospital bed. Dean and Sam aren't here, and I start to worry.

Someone opens the door, and I perk up a bit. My doctor walks in with a clipboard in hand and uses his free one to close the door behind him.

"When are visiting hours?" I ask quickly. He smiles over at me as he walks closer to the bed.

"They're outside. I'll let them in when I'm done informing you about all of this," he says, waving over my stomach area. I let out a quiet sigh. The doctor continues, "We gave you some pretty heavy meds, so you may not remember the ultrasound. You didn't seem to do well with the pain, and we needed you to be cooperative and focused. Anyway, we have found that your developing baby detatched itself from your wall. Now, this can happen at any time of pregnancy. Unfortunately, for you, it was very early in the pregnancy."

"Do the boys know?" I ask softly.

"Sam and Dean? Yes, they know," he says with a small smile. Then I watch as he opens the door and gestures for the two to enter. The doctor walks out and closes the door behind him.

Dean walks over to me quickly and hugs me tightly. We stay in this position for what seems like hours, and he finally lets go. Sam and I hug for a fraction of the time Dean and I did. The two pull up a chair and sit at the side of my bed.

"How do you feel?" Sam asks, putting his hand in mine.

I pause and look at the wall in front of me. "Surreal," I reply. "Disconnected."

"What... what does that mean, exactly?" Dean asks. He sounds like he's close to tears, so I keep my eyes locked on the wall.

"The losses that I've endured," I say around the lump in my throat, "have made me realize how important it is to love what you love." The hand that isn't holding onto Sam wipes the wetness from my cheeks. "And I love studying medicine," I finish, venturing a look at the two brothers.

There's a moment of silence, and I decide to continue. "I want to focus on that for now."

Sam frowns at me, confused. "But will we still be... us?" he asks, giving a small gesture to the three of us. I bite my bottom lip to keep it from quivering.

Then I look over at Dean, and I can see in his eyes that he is not ready for this. "No," I say.

It's almost a whisper, and I squeeze my eyes shut briefly in an attempt to stop the tears. When I open them again, Dean's eyes are filled to the brim with tears. My mouth moves to say something, but no sound comes out. I tried to say sorry, because I'm sorry it has to end this way; I'm sorry I lost his baby and didn't tell him it's what I wanted; I'm sorry that he has to keep losing people; I'm sorry he doesn't know the feeling of wanting to pursue something else; I'm sorry he got such a poor explanation.