SURVIVING LOVE

Chapter 77

Harry's point of view

I really want to hear the truth? Wow this situation is killing me. The earlier event makes my heart stop, because I thought that I will not have enough time to save her. But she was brave enough to fight for her life and to let me know that the moron has a gun. I am really proud of her and I learned a lot of things from her attitude.  I really not deserve to have her in my life. Nobody until Irina makes me feel this way. She seems that really cares for me and I did what? I disappointed her everytime.

"I..." and she sighed.

"Irina if you are not prepared you could do this some other time." And I moved the chair near her bed to assure her that I am tellong the truth.

"No it is ok, I can do it"  and she smiled letting me see her sad eyes.

"I know you do"

"I, was there when Aria was killed..." and  she told them all the details. I also found out how she was threatened and the fact that the idiot arrested today was the one that drove the car in that horrible day. If I knew this from the beginning now that son of a bitch would be dead.

"Why did you not announce the police miss?"

"I was scared, he threatened my friends and my parents too. I care to much about them to see they suffer"

"Understood" the police man said.

"The day when I decided that Harry have to know the truth was the day when  I was kidnapped. They forced the entrance at home and cover my mouth with something that made me fall asleep. I woke up in a room, as a basement room, with just one source of light and almost empty. I had days when I did not ate, I had days when Dylan beaten me so much that I lost my conscience. "

No way, I cannot listen all of this. God, she is still alive after this situation. How it is this even possible?

"They raped you?" When I heard this my eyes became involuntary bigger. She refused to look at me. Irina closed her eyes and in a couple of seconds she opened her beautiful eyes along with a couple of uncontrolled tears. 

"Yes. Dylan did it He tried twice, but first time I escaped somehow and that was when he beaten me hard. Second time...I, I really tried to escape, but my hands were still tied when..and I..really tried..." fuck, fuck no way. How can somebody hurt such a kind person? She is nothing more than a good human being that loves to help others, care about children and enjoy every little second of her life. She...how, how can she be so fucking strong after this happened?  From where she have this strength? I, I, maybe she was screaming for help, maybe she hoped that we will be there soon to help her, but we did not succeed to be next to her in time. My heart is broken in small pieces and the fact that this happened to her, makes my entire body suffer. She really did not deserve this. She deserve to be loved and happy. I am, I am now realizing that I cannot help her heal, I just help Irina forget. And I will do my best to accomplish this. I fully understand why she has this fear of letting people touch her and be close to her. Oh my God, this pain I am feeling right now is so powerful...I never thought that something will make me suffer like that. Even if she want to explain the next things, her tears do not let her. All the police did was approve and note everything she said. They are so heartless.

"Baby, look at me, please look at me" I whispered to her while I took one of her hands in mine. I kiss it and hold it as long as Irina will feel safe. Even if she first avoid my look, now I am seeing her sad eyes watching me.

"Baby, you are such a strong person and I admire you that you succeed to escape and now tell this fucking situation to police. I promise you, please look at me, I promise you that I will always try to protect you and I will be next to you as long as you want me to be. I promise you that I will do anything I can, just to not suffer anymore. Ok? You are safe now. I promise you" and I kissed her hand one more time.

She stop from crying preparing herself to continue telling this fucking story.

"After this....thing happened a couple of days I was let alone. This period was hard, because I always expected that someone will came again to rape me. In one day that door opened letting me see Tom, my boyfriend. He was very injured and shot I think, in his abdominal area. I tried to help him by putting a bandage create from my tshirt, but when Dylan came, he...he shot Tom and killed him."

"Irina, the doctors said that Dylan was killed after Tom death. Who killed him?"

"I did" what? What? No, uh God Irina. I have no words to describe what painful feelings I have for what happened to her. I know that she normally is not able to do this and I know that she will do that if the situation will be worse. Thinking about killing a man and the to what she have been through, I realise that in my eyes Irina is e heroine. She do not deserve this. Fuck. I cannot imagine what she had in mind when she pulled the trigger. It is not revenge, it was just pain, the powerful desire to escape and to know the loved ones safe. I am so sad that she had to do this, I am so sad that I was not there at time and killed him before her, I am so sad that she will have this in her heart all the time. I still keep her hand in mine searching her eyes to assure that I didn't lie when I said that I will always be next to her.

"We are aware that it was self defense" the police said, trying to calm her and letting her know that she doesn't need to worry about this situation. I happy exhale all the air kept in my lungs as the police talk.

"Thank you"

Soon the police left and let me alone with her.

"Harry, are you hating me?" She slowly said this.

"What? How can I do such things?"

"Well I was...I was..raped and I killed Dylan."

"Irina, all I want right now is to make you forget for a while what happened.  I am so proud of you that you succeed to escape from there. I do not hate you for what happened I only regret that I couldn't help you."

"Harry if you weren't there in that night, now I will be dead."

"I am sorry Iri, I am so fucking sorry for everything"  and I really am. Those fucking tears are rolling down on my face and I cannot do anything, but cry.