In Your Own Words

12. SUBJECT: LENA

to: cassandra.belford@baderu.com

from: weston.maguire@baderu.com

subject: Lena

sent: February 28, 2017 at 10:43am

Dear Cass,

When I met you at that party, I admit that I noticed you for the way you look. But I have to say, the more I write to you, the less I think of you as a pretty girl I saw at a party. Now you're more like the smartest voice in my head.

Not that I hear voices.

Don't worry about what Mel said. She didn't mean anything by it, she just doesn't know you.

She and I were supposed to shoot pool and grab drinks at The Litigator last night, but I ended up having to cancel. I was about to leave for the bar when Lena called. She was crying. I couldn't make out all the words, but I've known Lena for most of my life and she rarely cries.

Obviously, I had to go over there. Mel was nice about it, but a little annoyed. Which is fair, I guess. Nobody likes to be bailed on, especially if you're a girl being abandoned for another girl (doesn't matter that the other girl is your best friend and not attracted to men, right? Still sucks.) We're going to have lunch today though, so I'll make it right.

Peter and I got to Lena's less than twenty minutes after I got her call. We let ourselves in the apartment, not even bothering to knock.

She never locks her door. It's a problem, especially since Lena is the size of a fourth grader and lives alone. It really makes her the ideal victim of a break-in.

We heard her before we saw her. She was drowning in tears and a giant sweatshirt that I'm pretty sure belongs to Peter. Her eyes were smudged with black makeup and her dark hair was very knotted and wet around her face from all the crying. Lena's gorgeous, but she's an ugly crier.

Peter sat beside her on the bed and scooped her into his lap like she was a kid or a small dog. He smoothed her hair back---which did nothing for the mess and asked her what happened.

She was crying too hard to make any sense, so we let her scream/cry for 15 minutes.

I tried to tidy her room and make myself useful. I straightened up her desk and gathered all the loose change into an empty jar while Peter stayed on her bed, awkwardly patting her back while she shrieked. Eventually she caught her breath long enough to talk.

It was Taylor. They'd had a big fight. I mean, it's weird enough to see Lena so upset, but I've never seen her so torn up over relationship stuff. She's pretty private.

Lena met Taylor at the beginning of last summer. Taylor, who is very quiet compared to her girlfriend, worships Lena. She thinks Lena is so funny, and charming, and driven. Which is true. Lena is just as crazy about Taylor, though. She's just less obvious about it.

Apparently, Taylor wants things from Lena that aren't in my friend's five-year plan. Taylor wants to get married, have some kids, and live out in Connecticut, while Lena wants to travel all over Asia and drink coconut water while she lives in a boat or something equally wild. She's just... unconventional.

Taylor used to find Lena's wildness adorable, but lately, things have been different. Earlier, she had asked Lena where things were going, and Lena said something like "I'm too young to know where my life is going."

Which led to Taylor asking if she was even serious about their relationship.

Lena argued that the two were unconnected.