The Best of Me (Camren)

chapter five

Lauren's POV

"As you know... whenever you're ready to share, I'm here to listen."

Squeezing the pillow tightly and throwing it across the room out of frustration, I couldn't take it anymore. "I'm so... ugh! I'm just so mad!"

"You're mad at her? Camila?" Normani questioned.

"How was I supposed to know she was a goddamn Pediatrician? Let alone Bella's Pediatrician. Of all doctors in Brooklyn and my ex-wife shows up without a care in the world!" I belligerently got up from the couch and began to pace around. Normani nodded as she wrote some stuff down. "You know I went to therapy for the first two years she was out of my life? You know how fucked up I was?!"

"Yes, Lauren.... I was your therapist. Still am your therapist here for you anytime," she spoke calmly.

I sat back down and crossed my arms, annoyed. "....Seeing her for the first time in ten years felt surreal. Like I couldn't believe what I was seeing with my own two eyes. Her and Bella... talking... laughing... just looking at each other. Thought it'd never happen. There was even a point in my life when I didn't want it to ever happen. And now I remember why."

"Do you regret Bella meeting her?"

At first, I thought yes. Only because Camila hurt us by abandoning us. I didn't want Bella to experience the heartbreak I had. Then again, Bella had no clue what her mother did to us. For a moment there, I shed tears of joy that she was finally reunited with the woman who gave birth to her. Something she longed for all her life. But just for a moment. The other moments... the fury burned me in a fire. The same fire I felt years ago and still do deep down today.

Isabella will know the truth one day. Very very soon. I'd be damned to see her not care and forgive Camila for her wrongdoing. Bella's that kind of girl... a sweet, forgiving soul.

But me? I'd always tried to be like that to almost everyone. Camila though.... she cut through a piece in my heart that was forever damaged. It left a scar so big that maybe in a different life I could potentially forgive her.

But never forget.

"What do I do, Normani? Do I go see this woman again? Do I want to?" I pleaded for the advice from my best friend/psychological therapist. Funnily enough we met in Psych 101 in college.

"You either heed my advice or you don't. That's always up to you and I don't blame you for either."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just please tell me," I gave her sorrowful, desperate eyes.

"You know what I think?" she shrugged. "I think you do want to see Camila again." My face dropped crestfallen. "Yes, even though she had hurt you, stabbed you in the back, destroyed everything you two worked on. You want to see her again and as a friend, I think you should."

"Why?" I whispered.

"Maybe... it can heal something within you? I remember how broken you were and sure, seeing you see her may break you again." Well thanks. "But what if it won't? You never know unless you try."

"So I either go and heal or go and break? What if I don't go?" I frowned in a squint.

She chuckled, "You do whatever you want, Lauren. I'm just saying.. it's been ten years since you've really spoke to this woman. By taking this leap of faith, you'll probably get the answers you've been looking for after a long, hard decade. Whatever the emotional case it may lead to, at least you know her side of the story... right?"

"I mean, yeah," I looked down, pouting. "At the same time though.. it's still the story I dread to hear."

I was acting the most stubborn I ever had. This was finally my chance. I had Camila in my contacts again. At one click of a button and I'd hear her soft, soothing voice. The voice I used to hear everyday when I woke up and went to sleep.