The Best of Me (Camren)

chapter eight

Camila's POV

"Babe, you almost ready?!" Matthew shouted from downstairs as I was currently sat on the toilet, taking yet another pregnancy test.

"Yeah, be down in a minute!" Shit. We were about to head out to our friend's house but I really wanted to take this test now. I pretended like I was still putting on makeup when I was actually freaking out over the possibility of finally getting a positive pregnancy test. This could be it. The waiting could be over within the next three minutes. I hated getting my hopes up since I had so many failed attempts before but I couldn't help but think of ways I would tell my husband the good news!

But after the three minutes of waiting on positive results, I looked to see nothing but a negative sign.

"Dammit," I sighed, running hands through my hair. "Dammit. Dammit."

I shouldn't had been surprised but I honestly had a good feeling about this time. But I guess I thought that about all the other times we kept trying then failing. I mean, it had only been only about three months when it could take much longer, but I was impatience. We both were. With Lauren, it was so easy and quick. Why wasn't it happening this time with Matthew?

"You look upset, dear. What's wrong?" he asked while we drove over in the car.

Sighing, I pondered whether or not to tell him. It wasn't like I was pregnant but... "I took another test and..."

"And...?" he looked back and forth between me and the road frantically.

"And... negative," I mumbled. "Again."

His face fell but then lifted up my hand to kiss the back of it. "That's okay, love. It's only the third month, we'll get there."

"Yeah, it's the third month but what if it takes three years? Can we wait that long?" I was now getting too emotional at a bad time.

"I'll wait," he answered quickly. "I'll wait as long as it takes."

And now I felt even worse. "Willing to wait years? I mean, I know I probably sound stuck but it's just... I didn't have to wait this long to get pregnant when..."

"You were with Lauren?" he looked at me seriously.

I nodded slowly. "It happened right away."

"Sorry, I'm not Lauren," he muttered.

"Babe, that's not what I'm saying," I threw my head back out of annoyance.

"Well, it sounds like you don't even want to wait anymore time. But what else am I supposed to do?"

"Nothing, Matthew. Just chill," I told. "We'll either keep trying or find another way."

We finally pulled into the driveway of our friend's house. Putting the car in park, he took hold of the side of my face and kissed me. "I'm sorry if I'm acting out. That's the last thing we need right now. But... sometimes I just can't help that I feel inferior at the moment. Tons of women worry about not being able to get pregnant but so do men. I want to give us a child so badly. I don't want to let you down."

"You're not letting me down, baby. I'm sorry for making you worried too. This isn't easy on either of us but trust me... we'll get there," I kissed him back but longer this time.

______________________________

"You're so good with children," the mother of a 6 month old patient complimented.

"Thank you. This job truly fits me," I smiled down at the happy, adorable baby who didn't mind that I was checking her ears with an otoscope. She was entirely comfortable.