Dear Virgil Sanders [✔️]

Chapter 6: Disappear

Virgil shut off his laptop. With the uncomfortable conversation he just had with Patton, there's no way he could write a letter now. His dad was off at work so he had a few hours to kill. What could he do to make things right with Patton?

A ghostly form appeared next to his bed. He recognized the black and yellow coat of Janus, standing next to him. "You could talk to Patton."

"N-no I can't do that, I already ruined everything with Patton."

Janus rolled his eyes. "Says who? Roman? Why do you even talk to him?"

"I- well who else am I supposed to talk to?" Virgil looked up at him, half expecting him to laugh in his face, tell him he deserves to be alone.

"You can talk to me." Virgil misses a beat but laughs. "Unless you have someone else."

He stops laughing. "I dunno what to do, Janus."

"Well Patton, my parents, they need you. You're the only one who can keep them from forgetting me." He pauses. "Wait they already did."

Virgil sighs. "Jay, it's been two weeks-"

"And when they forget about me, what happens to you? Like, really, no one cares about people like us."

"'Us', what do you mean by 'us'?"

"Janus Picani who threw a desk at Principal Joan in second grade or Virgil Sanders who stood outside a jazz band concert trying to talk to Patton Picani but his hands were too sweaty. You know, people like us. Hey..."

Janus sat down across from him. "Guys like you and me, we're just the losers who keep waiting to be seen, right? I mean, no one seems to care or stops to notice that we're there so we get lost in the in between... but if you can somehow keep them thinking of me, or make me more than an abandoned memory... well that means we matter too. It means someone will see that you are there..."

Virgil stared at him in disbelief. He wants to keep this lie going? But Janus continued. "No one deserves to be forgotten... no one deserves to fade away. No one should come and go and have no one know he was ever even here. No one deserves to disappear... disappear."

"That's true." Virgil nodded along.

"And even if you've always been that barely in the background kind of guy? You still matter. And even if you're somebody that can't escape the feeling that the world's passed you by?"

"You still matter..."

Janus smiled at him, took his hand and pulled both of them to a standing. "If you never get around to doing some remarkable thing?"

"That doesn't mean that you're not worth remembering!"

"Think of the people who need to know..."

"They need to know..."

"So we need to show them!"

Virgil smiled and nodded. "That no one deserves to be forgotten, no one deserves to fade away! No one should flicker out or have any doubt that it matters that they are here. No one deserves to disappear!"

Janus nodded at him, taking him by the shoulders. "When you're fallen in a forest and there's nobody around, all you want is for somebody to find you, when you're fallen in a forest and when you hit the ground, all you need is for somebody to find you!" He pulled Virgil into a long lasting hug before encouraging him to FaceTime Logan and Roman.

"We can call it the Janus Project." He suggested to his friends as they started brainstorming ideas for the new fundraising project in Janus's memory.

"The Janus Project?" Roman laughed incredulously.

Virgil nodded. "A student group dedicated to keeping Janus's memory alive, showing that everyone should matter, everybody is important."

Logan grinned. "I'm so honored. I would love to be the Vice President of The Janus project."

"Woah wait, Vice President?"

"You're right, co-President."

Virgil was just glad he had Logan on his side. "Yeah sure, co-President."

Logan and Roman went back and forth about the positions before Virgil cut in. "Roman, do you think we should actually do this?"

Logan answers for him. "Are you kidding? We have to do this, not just for Janus, for everyone. Because no one deserves to be forgotten."

"No one deserves to fade away." Roman agreed.

The next day they found themselves pitching the idea to the Picanis.

Virgil spoke up. "So we're calling it the Janus Project."

Emile tried it out, testing the name on his tongue. "The Janus Project?"

"Imagine an online presence-" Virgil was cut off by Roman.

"A massive fundraising drive-"

Logan cut off Roman. "And for the kickoff event, an all-school memorial assembly to talk about Janus's legacy."

Emile and Remy share a concerned look. Virgil piped up, finding Patton's eyes. "And maybe Jazz Band could do something...?"

Patton shrugged. "Maybe."

"I didn't realize Janus meant this much to people..." Remy admitted.

Emile finally dismisses his husbands doubts. "Oh Janus, this is wonderful! Cause no one deserves to be forgotten. No one deserves to disappear..."

After the other members of the conversation leave, Virgil is about to go home too when Emile pulls him aside.

"For the assembly... I want you to give a speech. You were his best friend and... it's what he would've wanted. And here, please, wear this." He goes to a closet and pulls out a black and grey plaid tie. It would go perfect with his purple and grey plaid button up.

Virgil's hands ran cold. "I- my speech?"

"Yes, Logan said you want to speak tomorrow and I assumed that you would sign up..."

"Of- of course..." he mumbled, took the tie and left.