Dear Virgil Sanders [✔️]

Chapter 10: It Could Be Us

The couple was sat in Virgil's room, the first time Patton has been to his house. Both of them are nervous. Virgil nervously watches as the others's eyes scanned his room, taking it all in. A nervous silence fills the air. A palpable tension between them.

Patton finally broke the silence, much to Virgil's relief. "So... when does your dad get off work?"

"Oh he has class Sunday nights, so he won't be home for another few hours.."

A smirk danced on Patton's face. "We have the whole house to ourselves?"

"You know it." Virgil flushed.

"We should throw a party." Patton jokes.

Virgil grinned. "We should definitely throw a party for sure!"

"Until your dad comes home."

"In three hours."

There was another silence.

"Thanks for coming, Patton."

He smiled at Virgil. "You realize that I've been asking to come to your house for, like, weeks and every time you immediately say no."

"I know which is why I appreciate you're here now.."

Patton glances at Virgil's desk, standing and walking over to it. "What are these?"

Virgil hurries over, rushing to put them away. "Oh those are.. Dad is obsessed with college scholarship essay contests he found online and keeps printing out more and more..."

"There are so many..."

"Yeah I know." He shrugged. "I'd have to probably win a hundred of them to actually pay for college. When you do the math. Tuition, housing, books..."

Patton furrowed his eyebrows, grabbing a stray paper off the desk. "Your parents... they can't?"

"Not really." He acts like it's okay, it's normal, what he's been raised to believe is true.

"I'm sorry."

There's another uncomfortable pause before Virgil takes the lead and changes the subject. "Hey I meant to tell you before. We had a meeting for the Janus Project a few days ago and we have a really good strategy for raising more money for the orchard."

Patton cuts him off. "Can we talk?"

Virgil sits down on his desk chair. "Shit."

"what?" Patton puts a hand on his shoulder and kneels in front of him.

Virgil looks crestfallen. "No just you're breaking up with me. That's why you came over. Right?"

"Breaking up with you..?" The others head titled in confusion.

"Shit, look at how presumptuous I can get! I don't even know if we're official or whatever, and that isn't.. nevermind, why am I talking right now? I'm fine, don't worry you can tell me, I'm not gonna start crying or breaking things.."

Patton stares at him for a second. Virgil lets out a tiny uncomfortable squeak. "Virgil, I'm not breaking up with you."

He sighed in relief, standing and helping Patton up. "Okay well thanks..."

He chuckles. "Don't mention it. I just... The Janus Project and while it's great... but maybe we don't have to talk about my brother all the time. Maybe we can talk about... other things."

"I-I just thought maybe you'd like to know-"

"And I did but my whole life... everything has always been about Janus. And right now I just want... no I need something for me. If this is going to be a..."

He chose the word carefully.

"Relationship... I don't want it to be about my brother or the orchard or the emails. I just want you... I want you... and... I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you... I don't need you to search for the proof that I should. You don't have to convince me... you don't have to be scared you're not enough..."

Patton's hand gently moved to cup Virgil's cheek. "Cause what we've got going... is good. I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken. I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget.. clear the slate and start over, try and quiet the noises in your head. Cause we can't compete with all of that.

"So what if it's us, what if it's us and only us? And what came before wont count anymore or matter? Can we try that? What's if it's you and what if it's me and what if that's all that we need it to be... and the rest of the world falls away... what do you say?"

Patton sat down on the bed and Virgil stood off to the side, pulling together words to respond.

"I never thought there'd be someone like you who would want me.."

The other laughs. "Well.."

"So I give ten thousand reasons to not let me go..." Virgil looked back at him. "But if you really see me, if you like me for me and nothing else.. we'll that's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know... so it can be us, it can be us and only us! And what came before won't could anymore or matter! We can try that!"

"It's not so impossible.." Patton smiled.

"Nobody else but the two of us here, cause you're saying it's possible.."

"We can just watch the whole world disappear..."

The nervous boy knelt in front of Patton, his hands resting gently on his knees.

"Till you're the only one I still know how to see... it's just you and me.."

Patton grinned and took Virgil's hands gently. "It'll be us, it'll be us and only us.. and what came before won't count anymore!"

"We can try that! You and me!" Virgil agreed.

"That's all that we need it to be! And the rest of the world falls away!"

"and the rest of the world falls away..."

Little did Virgil know that this was the highest he would ever reach, and be happiest he would ever feel again.