Somewhere Between Forever and Eternity

Chapter 4

It’s been a month and I am still suffering from the pain of trying accept. Everytime I try to put a brave face and go out, I fail. I become fragile wanting to collapse into his arms just once again. I find it hard to express my feelings, I have ran out of words.

I scroll though instagram, “Pratyush Verma” I search. Yes, I had unfriended  him even though he chose not to. Pictures of him hugging her made me sick in the stomach. Posts filled with #justmonthstogo #baeforlife #couplegoals made me want to ban instagram. Feed filled with goofy pictures of us now seemed to be replaced with hugs and kisses of her’s.
Had I become extinct to him ?  or did he want me to see all of this, knowing that I’d give up hope soon ?

How could I give up when I had not given in yet ? What started out as just a happy new year tousled my life around. I was hung over him, crazy for him eventually, a major crush!

We were not just like normal friends, maybe something more than friends. Aren’t we all with someone? But we never did date, but that never stopped me from falling even harder for him everytime.  His cheesy talks, flirting, his smile, and the way he hugged. Damn, sends me goose bumps even now.

“Are you guys together?” everyone we knew asked

“Nooo…” we’d chorus and blush away.
But what would it be like, always made me think. What if he is the one? I always asked Deepti.

“Well for one, you have never felt about someone this way, so maybe he is your one. Just let him take his time to ask you. Wait.” She replied

“What if I wait and loose him?”

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”

It was meant to be. It was meant to be when I saw him break my heart on my birthday.

It was meant to be. I was meant to forget about love because of him.

It was meant to be. I would never find anybody who will stay with me.

I saw him as he went down on one knee on my birthday for her. The irony.

We were all seated in this beautiful open restaurant  as always I was waiting eagerly for my day. But heart I was still a little kid.

Aadarsh on my right, Deepti on the left. He sitting opposite of me, next to her Rupali Krishnan. His classmate and now his colleague. 

“Attention everyone !” he clinked the glass. “I have an announcement to make.”

We all looked up at him. The table in pindrop silence.

“First of all, A very happy birthday to my love, my best friend, my soul. I wish you abundant happiness baby girl. I wish from this year you go get your dreams and live like a bawse…” He laughed.

“Also I take this opportunity to ask this beautiful girl aka a women now, if she’ll be with me forever till my last breath and make me the happiest man alive !?”

We all looked shocked..No, not because he said that. But he held his hands out to Miss. Krishnan on saying that. As they stood up, hugged and kissed right in front of my eyes. I was doomed. Why…why of all days was this happening to me now?

As I shivered Aadarsh held me like a baby in his arms. I tugged on to his shirt trying not to weep loud. I wanted to leave, I didn’t want to be like this.

The last thing I remember was falling down on the pavement and hitting my head. Ahh…maybe that explains the concussion.