&BURN ◊ GD

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

aurora
where we know why she left

i wish i had a better way to do what i planned to go through. but the letter was made and my heart was heavy. my eyes stared down at it for a long time as i had produced in every way to be the person i hated the most. because i had loved this man but i was possessed by these darkened thoughts that had caused me to think of my baby every time i had looked at him. the pain and torment was running through my veins constantly and i could no longer live like this.

but the hardest part was that he did. grayson wanted to get through it, wanted to love me back to a life where i could be happy. but i was so saddened by it all i did not want what that would be like. so here i was with my suitcase packed and the letter placed on the pillow i would rest my head on. the words memorized in my mind.

dear grayson,

you have loved since i was only a teenager and i have continued to adore you through it all. but i cannot this time, i am absolutely broken and torn to pieces by it all. i had lost my baby. we had lost our baby and the memories of that delivery are playing in my mind over and over. i hate everything about that day, about the way i thought we would be happy with her in my arms. i mean for god's sake i can still imagine her running around the house with the same smile as yours in my dreams. this is haunting and i want to get through it but i can't. because you will always bring the memories of my little girl i had lost. and i am sorry that it had to be this way. that i am cruel enough to leave you like this but i know you can get through this. that you will find a better girl and live a better life. i want that so badly for you and that is why i have to leave. that is why i cannot be with you.

and for that i am so sorry. grayson dolan i will love you forever and always. you will always be in my heart and on my mind.

i love you

-aurora lune

every term i had read over and over along with the tears that had left my eyes when i place a chaste kiss to his head. my vision studying him one last time before i go, before i will no longer be around this man.

and with one final soft, stare, i had left.

+

rereading that letter had brought this pain to uprise in my chest. thinking of the girl who had wrote this six years ago made me emotional. i hated her for what she did. for what had possessed me to believe i could do such a thing. so once my eyes looked back up to the man who watched me read this note i had almost broken apart. "i think i have every line of that letter memorized. i mean i read it over a hundred times." he states causing me to softly nod as i wipe the tears that began to fall. my sniffles now evident as i take a deep breath.

"i can't say it enough, grayson. i'm sorry, like i was such a horrible person for doing this and i will never forgive-"

"no, aurora, you see that's the thing. i don't want your sorry or your nice words of sympathy. i just need one thing from you." he interrupts me as i sigh softly.

"anything, gray. what do you want to know?" i ask as he looks me in the eye with this new wave of emotion i had never quite seen. it was so unreadable to me and that had worried me before he spoke.

"why? how could you do that so easily?"

"well i can tell you it wasn't easy. i waited five months to do that, to see if there was something. anything there." i start off beginning to get emotional once more. "but i didn't and every time i looked at you i could just feel all the sadness begin to literally fill my body. i didn't know how i would be able to get over that without leaving. and i thought it would be better for you too because i was so sad. grayson you were trying to bring back the happy life of like a ghost. and that was not right for you."