Chapter 44

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Ryder's POV

"I'm sorry"

My head snapped up immediatly at the sound of her voice.

She came back!

A feeling of relief flooded my heart and I immediately welcomed it. It was a great feeling compared to the agonizing heartache that I had felt moments before. That pain was worse than any I had ever endured in my life. It ate at my heart like flies eat dead flesh.

It hurt more than any punch, kick, broken arm or bullet wound. And that was saying alot. I would take a gunshot to my stomach any day rather than to endure that pain again.

I couldn't believe that she came back. My heart was torn when she ran out of the house and Micah stopped me from running after her. He was right. She needed her space. But I didn't want to give her space. I wanted nothing more than to run after her and take her into my arms and tell her that I loved her back.

When she made her confession, I was stunned and confused. I couldn't believe that she loved me.

Me!

But I blew my chance to tell her how I really felt about her. I loved her more than life itself and the thought of losing her was enough to make me cry.

I never cried.

The last time I cried, I was four years old. That was when my father was scolding me and I started to cry. He told me to stop but I couldn't so he shot my dog in the head as a lesson and a punishment to me.

He told me that men didn't cry and that crying made you weak. So ever since then, I never cried or showed any sign of weakness which got me where I was; the leader of the biggest and baddest gang in the country.

But at that point, I really didn't care. I cried.  I cried because I lost the most important girl in my life, the girl I loved. And I knew that I was weak. She made me weak.

I looked at her again and immediatly sprang up out of my seat and went to hug her. Then I did the one thing my mind had been telling me to do for weeks.

I kissed the bloody hell out of her.
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Dori's POV

Ohmyfreakinggoshryderisfreakingkissingme.

What are you doing idiot? Kiss him back!

Oh right.

I kissed him. Something I had wanted to do for a very long time. He was kissing me with emotion. He poured out all that he was feeling in that kiss. He kissed me with passion, saddness, longing, love. And I kissed him back with an equal amount of passion and emotion.

His lips were soft  and plump against mine, moving in synch with mine and I loved that. He was kissing me slowly, tenderly and lovingly.

But then a thought came into my mind. Doing that meant that I forgave him. And to be completely honest, I wasn't quite sure if I had forgiven him yet. He hurt me, betrayed me, lied to me and broke my heart.

Could I really forgive him so soon?

But before I could pull away from the kiss, he did first, leaving a tingling sensation on my lips, then rested his forehead on mine with his eyes tightly closed.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered painfully. "I'm so sorry Dori. I hurt you and I hate myself so much for doing that. I love you so much, I can't live without Dori. Please forgive me" he opened his eyes and looked at me pleadingly. Worry, fear,saddness, emptiness and a bit of hope swam around in his eyes.

I looked at him in shock. I was surprised by his confession.

He loved me.

My silence was because of shock but he thought I didn't want to forgive him.

Then he did the one thing I never expected him to do.

He knelt on his knees down on the ground in front of me with his head bowed.

"Please" he pleaded, his voice alomst cracking at the end.

And at that point, I knew. I knew that I had forgiven him since the moment I decided to come back to the house. I loved him. And I wanted nothing more than to be with him.

So I knelt on my knees in front of him and took his face in my hands, causing him to look at me; the aforementioned emotions still evident in his eyes. They were shining with unshed tears. It broke my heart to see him like this.

"I forgive you" I whispered with a small reassuring smile.

It seemingly took a while for the words to register in his mind because he just knelt there staring at me for a few seconds, then he tackled me to the ground and hugged me then kissed my neck.

"Thank you" he said as he brushed a strand of hair from my face. "God I love you. I love you so freaking much. I'm so sorry" with that, he kissed me again.

"Finally!" I heard someone exclaiming from behind us. The tone of the voice indicating that it was Micah.

I had completely forgotten about the other boys in the room because of Ryder.

He got up off of me and helped me up. I turned to look at the rest of the boys.

"Any chance you could forgive us too?"  Kruz asked with a hopeful look in his big doe eyes.

I shook my head, teasing them.

"What?!" He exclaimed. " You can forgive him but you can't forgive us?! You do realize he was the head of the operation right? He's the leader! He made all the rules and-" Kruz's rambling was interrupted by Ryder.

"Yeah, great job at selling me out man" he said sarcastically.

I laughed at them both. "I'm joking guys." I said the get their attention. " I forgive you. All of you" I smiled at them and that smile was returned with a wide grin on each or their faces.

Then, the thing I dreaded the most, I was dragged into a bear hug.

Desperately trying to gasp for air, I barley mangaged to say, "I-I'm dying h-here"

"Get the hell off of her!" I heard Ryder yell then I felt the boys being pulled away from me.

Finally free, I took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of fresh oxygen filling my lungs.

"Are you ok? Ryder was immediately by my side. "Are you breathing ok? Do you want to sit down? Do you want some water? Talk to me baby"

I looked at him and answered a bit breathlessly, "I'm fine"

Of course, he didn't buy it. "Are you sure baby. Please don't lie to me"

I looked at him lovingly then back at the boys who all had worried expressions on their faces. I loved them and they lived me. They were my world, my heart, my everything. And they were all I needed to be ok. So to put it lightly,

"Yeah. I'm fine. Perfect"

With that, I kissed him.

"Oh, get a room!"

"Shut up you diptwit! Let them love"

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