Read please like really read cause then you'll be confused I wanted to let this out and the people who read this part of the book to know why I write the way I do and why the way I am so read if you like and comment what you think cause I bet you guys to will think I'm dramatic and dumb because who likes and cares for me no one right ?
All I wanted was help
Instead I got judgment
I never new what it felt like to not be taking seriously about your mental illness
Now I do and it sucks
People have compared me too them saying they have been through worse
Okay ? Is that supposed too change the way I feel no just because I haven't been through what you have that doesn't mean I don't have a right to feel the way I do okay!
I have my reasons to feel the way I feel and you have yours just cause I'm young doesn't mean I don't "understand" what pain is what heartbreak is it doesn't matter what age you are !
You can still feel these things these emotions this pain no matter how old you are
And the to the person I wish I can stand up too fuck you for saying I'm dramatic
You really hate me don't you ?
I'm your sister am I am your family I'm related to you
And yet..
Your the most toxic peice of shit in my life
You are the worst human being I have ever met
Your not family your not a person I love how can I love the monster who made me life this
This sad depressed, broken person, who hates herself who torment herself everyday telling herself that she will never be loved because that's been put in her head for 6 fucking years!
You tell me I am depressed because I never go outside fucking bullshit!
I am depressed because I feel like nobody or nothing can love me why cause you make me feel as if I'm the fucken monster
When it is you who is the monster !
I am depressed because you can tell everyone else you love them but me I have always been there for you but when are you ever there for me tell me because I like too know you never told me you loved me only once and the therapist had to force you and what another time via text message wow I feel really loved !
God would I like to fucken know about when you been there for me all you do is tell me is stop being a little bitch!
Want to know why I'm fucken scared to go outside because I'm scared I'm being judged by everyone around me !
You tell me I shouldn't care about others opinion but how can I not when I was fucken told by the person who should care for me that no one loved me for fucken years !
You probably don't remember this heck you don't know anything that you did to me because you like to play fucken victim !
You make everyone think I'm the the fucken peice of shit everyone should hate but thats fucken you God you deserve the absolute fucken worse !
But I'm fucken dramatic so I had to bring this shit up right !
Remember that fucking night where I was scared to even get close to you because you literally are the fucken devil !
Well it went like this are cousin came over. Fucking great and fun ! Right ? Wrong!
You tormented me and for what their fucking entertainment! Your a fucken sick ass bastard!
Who does this to a what 8-10 year old ! (At the time I was)
You sicken me !
God I swear Everytime I see you I fucken want you to be tortured because all the pain you caused me !
After the day you left you told me something I can't remember but I do remember I telling you to get the fuck away from me ! Why? Because I was fucken scared ! Of you !
I ran across the room to get away from you and when you got closer I broke down ! And you ask me why I was doing this ? Excuse me why was I fucken doing this to you why the fuck did you do this to me break me !
And on that day you promise me that you were going to stop and you promise and I fucken believe you God I was such a idiot we didn't even talk about it afterwards we fucking talked about you and you actually cried for me that night yay right a happy ending ! But except it fucken wasn't cause the next fucking day what happened you fucking told me the things you told me everyday!
I'm nothing ,no one Loved me, that's why mom or God doesn't love me and you know what the worst part is ? I fucken believe you !
So when I call you a whore its not that I mean the bad kind no honey I mean the worst one the fucken attention seeking whore the one that lies and want to make everything about her ! The one that can get help for herself but if I do it I'm dramatic excuse me bitch ! I'm not the fucken stereotype here it's you !
So I'm sorry I can't get angry at a person or tell them off because guess what I'm not fucking you so stop trying to make out to be you ! When you say I care about people feelings too much fuck yeah I do because I'm not a monster like you !
So sorry I can't help to let the people who have hurt me back in my life ! But guess what want to know why I do it ? It's because their fucking not you ! And that's just fucken wonderful why because who wants a fucken monster in their life !
So that's why I can't wait till I get you out of my life and can't wait till you move the fuck out ! Want to know why I'm happy when you leave the house because I can get the fuck away from you !
Oh and guess what I don't call our "dad" my "dad" because guess what he's a little bitch so he didn't care a fuck about me 😂 so for what reason am I going to care for him hmm please explain I'll wait ! Right there isn't one so stop rolling your eyes like a fucken little bitch oh wait like father like daughter ! And fucken except the fact that I'll never fucken like his ass he is a sorry excuse of a "dad" and so if you want to be by his side and tell everyone that he cares for us go right ahead cause in the fucken end who gets hurt like a little bitch oh wait you do and guess what I fucken cherish those moments karma is a bitch like you said right ? Yes it is and it's also very funny to watch it happen to you !😁
So sorry I don't call him my "dad" but that sorry ass escuse of a man isn't my "dad" a dad is a person who loves you and does anything for you and that man whore isn't mine .
Because a dad would make an effort to love me and care for me and show that he wants to be in my life not throw me away just because I look like my grandma 😂 not lying people we kinda look alike just I'm younger obviously.
My dad He would make an effort by calling or texting me and not by going on fucking Instagram and commenting to tell the kids my new number is blah blah blah I don't remember why ? Because I blocked his ass well because you could have text me but you decided to do it in the commenting section oh and Because umm it was my account not my moms as you obviously thought wow you made such a good effort you didn't even look at my profile picture which is obviously me and didn't even scroll through my account such a good effort ...😁
And everyone Wonders why I want to kill myself well that's because this is my fucken life and that's only half but I'm dramatic right?😁
YOU ARE READING
Poems\Songs
Poetryhere is a random thing read or don't i really don't care some events about the songs I may write but it might be just be poetry anyway like I was saying some events of the lines are real life true events sometime you need to write and let everything...
