Warning: suicide, self harm, etc etc.
"Alright, everything is all set and ready for you to leave." the nurse smiled my way. I looked down to my bare arms at my side, there was something just so tragically shameful about digging deep into your skin with a razor. Especially since now I was here because of that bad habit. She handed me my grey sweatshirt folded up into a neat little square and the single bouquet of roses that previously stood tall near the window in bright cherry red, now wilted and brown.
I left the room without even saying goodbye, still feeling weak in the legs as I walked.
"Hey, kiddo." My mother called out happily, standing from her chair. "You ready to go?"
Not really. I didn't want to go back there and let her throw slurs my way and make me feel worse about myself, damaging my already extremely low self esteem. She wasn't technically abusing me, infact even when I tried to talk to counsellors and those fancy therapy people with the millions of degrees hanging on their walls, telling them how much she had mentally destroyed me, they all said the same thing.
"Sounds like you are trying to gain pity from others."
Pity my ass, it hurt every time she stared me down from across the room as I tried to hold back anger filled tears after she insulted me, using every curse word in her dictionary.
I simply tucked my jacket under my arm and nodded to the ground. She smiled and wrapped her arm around my shoulders and hugged me against her side.
"Good."
Several nurses glanced our way, smiles across their lips as they greeted us. Damn them all to fucking hell.
Soon we were out and making our way to her red Volkswagen. She dropped her arm from my side now, pushing me away.
"Why the fuck would you try and kill yourself?" She spat behind a clenched jaw. "You have a perfectly fine life, no boy of mine will take the pussy's way out."
I shook my head.
"I-I don't know." I muttered, keeping my head down.
"We're supposed to be a happy family, if this gets out to any of the neighbors, Glenn, it will ruin my reputation." She said, trying to keep her cool for the moment as she ripped the keys to the tiny vehicle out of her jean jacket pocket. "It will ruin our family."
I was oh so glad she cared so much.
"Damn you, Child."
I opened the door to my room, trying to contain myself as I pushed my hair out of my eyes. I really missed my dad now. Dad wouldn't do this to me.
"And fuck off with the whole 'hurting yourself' bullshit, you're not helping anyone with that, Fucker." She shouted through the floor boards.
I shut the door, finding a spot infront of it to curl myself into a small ball on the floor as my body shook and I started to cry.
The entire house now knew. I knew as the smallest and weakest brother I was going to get my ass whooped for this later.
My glazed eyes darted around the room as I sat up against the wall, going from my wrists, to the drawer of my bedside table, my floor, the window, my wrists, and then the drawer. I stumbled to ny feet, flicking the lock on the door and walking over to my drawer. The shouting continued.
I opened the drawer, finding my clutter of shit I kept for no good reason, but then off to the side, what caught my eye three blood-stained shiny scraps of thin metal. I started down to them and they seemed to stare back.
Holding the drawer open, I looked up and out the window to two boys playing football in the street infront of me, throwing the ball back and forth between eachother. The taller one chucking it forwards at the other who looked to be about ten.
As his arm moved from his body, his striking purple hair glowed against the setting sun, and he cheerfully called to the other.
His black jean clad legs and leather boots danced on the asphalt black road, and his letterman jacket swayed with his movement.
It was him.
I heard loud booming foot steps coming up the stairs after me.
I grabbed my black jacket from my coat hanger in my closet, slipping it over my arms, zipping it up, and pulling the hood over my head.
On the back it displayed a white skull labeled 'Misfits' it was a movie I enjoyed as a little kid that Marilyn Monroe stared in, but more imortantly it was my only prized possession, one my father gave me, and one my mother didn't know about.
I still wore my worn out black Chuck Taylors, drying my eyes as I opened the window.
There was loud pounding on the door as it began to lightly sprinkle outside.
"Glenn, open this motherfucking door right fucking now!"
I pitched my leg up on the surface of the dresser, and threw myself out the window and onto the grass, the curtains flowing as I jumped out.
The two boys seemed to frown at the rain and begin to walk inside, I ran at the purple haired boy, tackling him to the pavement, the other stepping back, startled.
I held myself over him, my arms on either side of his head.
He looked up to me, opening his emerald green eyes to look at me now.
"Glenn?" He asked, shocked at my appearance. "When did you get out of the hospital?"
"Jerry fucking help me." I hissed out. "My mother she's-"
"That was your house?" He asked again. "God, if I would have known I would have-"
She pounded on my door again, so loud it could be heard out the window.
"Can I stay with you?" I spoke quickly, pushing myself off of him now.
"Yeah, yeah just stay calm right now." He hushed, as we stood up.
My mother finally somehow managed to open my door, practically throwing herself out the window and looking down either side of the street, calling my name.
I turned keeping my back to her as we all practically sprinted away.
She called out once more, her voice cracking and I could hear her choke back tears.
I considered it for a second.
She's my mother.
She loves me, doesn't she?
A/n
Oh wow JJ finally added another part to the bullshit. Woooooow.
Okay well imma have to finish this soon- fuck.
