The Fault in Our Tumblr

Chapter Eight

A pang of guilt sat low in my stomach all Friday and into Saturday morning. I felt awful, like all the things I had once said or thought about Peter weighed heavily upon my shoulders. Why did he have to have cancer? Why did it have to be something so monumental?

My mother encouraged me not to worry about it. She told me the doctors were taking care of him in the best possible way, and that Peter would have a good chance of surviving. But still, there was always the chance that none of this would work out. There was a chance that Peter could be sicker than he actually thought he was. The cancer could have spread into his blood stream and attached itself onto some major organ. There was a chance that all the diagnosing was completely wrong. Who would take care of Louis if Peter died?

I also began to wonder what kind of family would be around if Peter died or even while he was getting his treatments. I didn't know much about cancer and all the stuff involved in treating it, but my dad's cousin had had cancer of the esophagus so I knew a little bit of what to expect. Dad's cousin had become increasingly attached to family in his final months, but every time we saw him he looked like he hadn't slept in days. The chemo took a lot out of him. He had to have surgery, but it didn't end up doing him any good. Needless to say, he passed away, and we were all very heartbroken. Nearly the entire family on my dad's side came to the funeral, and there were even a few of my mom's relatives that came too.

My mind began to roam around the idea of how many people would be there for Peter if he passed. I didn't know what kind of family he had. I knew he was single and had a cat, and that is as far as my knowledge went. Of course, there was always the idea of whether he didn't pass away and just needed some extra assistance as the chemo took its effects. I knew well enough that Peter would be drained nearly one-hundred percent by the medication the doctors would put him on. That was always how it worked, unfortunately.

As my mind wandered on Friday, I began to get curious why Peter had come to my mother with this burden on his heart. I could always ask my mom. I knew she'd probably tell me in order to ease my mind, but in a way I didn't know if it would be consider prying. Nevertheless, I made my way downstairs early Friday morning, finding my mom reading another large book and sipping on her coffee.

She looked over the top of the book as I walked slowly into the kitchen. "Good morning, Henry. You're up early."

"Can I ask you a couple questions?" I said, being straight forward with what was on my mind.

For a moment she looked a bit taken aback, probably because she thought it was too early for me to be so curious about something. But she nodded and motioned to the seat beside her at the kitchen table. "What's on your mind?" She asked as I slipped into the chair.

"Well...I was just curious, you remember when dad's cousin David got cancer of the esophagus?" I asked, starting off in a rather vague direction.

My mother nodded, waiting for me to bring about my main point before saying anything.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed softly. "There were all kinds of people there at his funeral, nearly all of dad's family came and even some of your family came. It was nice, seeing all the people who David had effected throughout his life. But...well, I guess I'm just concerned about Peter. I mean, I'm not saying that he's dying or anything, but I just don't know how many people are in his life. I just figured it might get a little lonely or even difficult to go on day after day with chemo and everything while you're nearly alone. You know?

A small smile crept over my mother's lips, and when I looked up at her I could see soft tears in her eyes. They were tears of compassion rather than bitterness or sadness. "Henry, I know you didn't always find Peter to be completely everything you expected out of an individual, and I suppose that is why you're concerned now with his companionship and well-being. But I assure you, he is not alone and has people that love him dearly who are going to take good care of him through this all. He has a sister that lives in Texas that is coming up to be with him for a year's time, as well as his son who stays with his sister."