The Fault in Our Tumblr

Chapter Ten

Line after line. Message after message. Word after word. I read through Ashton's carefully typed plan as he slowly revealed to me his ultimate adventure. Quite simply, we were to leave in a week. His father would fly us to the Colorado area, and from there we would take up a two day residence at a decent hotel that Ashton's parents kindly booked. 

That seemed a bit excessive, having Ashton's parents pay for the trip, but he insisted that they insisted that the payment would go through them entirely. No exceptions. So passing over the point of finding a room, Ashton also said that his mother was more than willing to send a large sum of cash with him to pay for our meals. Again, I felt like this was too much, but I didn't bother arguing about it. Arguing wasn't going to get me anywhere in this moment.

We would spend the two days we had meeting Patrice at her scheduled book signing and then having a private "interview" of sorts with her afterwards at her house. That was arranged by her personal assistant according to Ashton.

Despite the lack of payment on my part and the over-excessive nature of the entire trip on Ashton's parent's part, I felt slightly giddy about the whole situation. Certainly, I would have loved to have told Ashton weeks ago that I'd go with him to see Patrice, but that was a different time. Then again, now was a different time too. I wasn't as well as I had been in the past...or the past couple days. Or week. I didn't really recall what time it was and all that had past after my little "episode".

When I thought about it I felt sick to my stomach. I felt sick about the whole situation with Harmony, regardless of the fact that I had just had closure with her. It still seemed like there was an awkward haze that separated the two of us now, and I felt it would be that way for a while.

This whole pill thing, anxiety problem, was starting to become more real as I sat in the silence of my room. I felt like everyone had been keeping massive secrets and just when one thing slips the whole world tilts over and explodes into a million mini pieces. Not like the mini candy pieces that are really super good, but like mini glass shards that remain on the ground and then you step on one and it gets embedded in your foot. Like that kind of mini pieces. Awful, stinging mini pieces.

I took in a deep breath and stared at my computer screen. I wasn't going to respond right then and there. I couldn't. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to go, but I didn't want to either. There was too much going on it felt like. But if I went, if I just went and got over myself, maybe things would be okay and I'd have a blast.

I needed to think it all through. Brood over it. Study each piece of information thoroughly before making any major decisions. That was what I truly needed to do. So that is what I told Ashton.

ME : Can I think about this all? It's been a long day.

ASHTON : Sure! Don't pressure yourself too much. I mean, push comes to shove, my dad and I'll will just head out ourselves. It will be a little lonelier, but I can still pick you up a signed copy! :D

ME : Thanks. Just give me a day or so. Maybe I'll have it sorted out then.

ASHTON : Okay. Sounds good!

I left the conversation there. Slowly, I closed my laptop and sat it aside with a certain gentleness. As my eyes fell on the clock that rested on my bedside table, I realized that half of my day was nearly spent. It was Monday, I realized after a little bit of number crunching. Saturday had been the concert, I had stayed in the hospital Sunday, and I was released today being Monday. Therefore, I had an appointment with Doctor Myra tomorrow.

Another sigh passed through my lips. I didn't want to leave my house for another few months, but I knew that would never fly with my mom. Instead, realizing the time, I stood up and made my way downstairs.