Crutch

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It's been approximately one week since I talked to Yoongi

He took it well. We talked about what happened. I was terrified for his reaction.

But.. He wasn't mad. I don't even know why I thought he would be.

But he was sad. And then it was like he was forced out of the dream he was living in.

He had to make himself remember what happened. Even if it was through my eyes.

He seemed distant, and sadness consistently lingered in his eyes.

His mother told me how he was. His brain didn't want to let those memories leak into his mind. And neither did mine.

I've been so wrapped up in how he was, especially since I hadn't seen him since, that I've failed to agknowlage my own problem brewing.

I've been stuffing my feelings with alcohol to numb myself, my guilt, and my thoughts.
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Yoongi Oppa: omw
Sent 9:48

Read 9:49
                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3o mins later

I was pacing back and forth in my room when I heard a knock on my door. I walked out of my room and immediately hit a figure. I fell to the floor and rubbed my head.

"Ow!"

I looked up. It was Yoongi.

Why was he in my room!!?

"Why are you in my room?! You are supposed to wait till I go to the door!"

He blushed and rubbed his neck.

"Uh... Sorry" he said sheepishly.

I sighed and put my hamd out in the air. Yoongi grabbed it and pulled me up.

"Ok so you remembered what happened?" He whispered.

I nodded. "Come sit down.." I took his hand and dragged him to the living room. I sat down on the couch and took out a water bottle. He sat down next to me.

I starter to chug the water innocently, but it was actually full of vodka.

I put it down and wiped my mouth with eyes closed tightly.

He watched me wearily and then cleared his throat. I sighed and began telling him my flashback.

Once I got onto the road I was turning into, I saw a white car. The car was headed towards me.

I tried to skip the irrelevant details but the words just came out and didn't stop.

I panicked and tried to move but I lost control of my car.

I started to get choked up.

My car smashed into theirs and we spun like a top.

Once I got there I couldn't finish. My eyes were closed tight and I was crying. I bet he thinks I'm weak.

I think I'm weak for fuck's sake.

But instead he just hugged me and sat me on his lap. He rocked me there as I cried.

I put my arms around his neck and cried into the base if his neck.

His shoulder was exposed and I layed my cheek on his soft skin.

I felt my salty tears roll down my cheeks and onto him.

"I'm sorry.. It's just a painful memory." I whispered to him.

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