Chapter One

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His fingertips pressed into the flesh of my hips as his erection grew harder, his pace like a count to a simple one-two-three beat, as I lay beneath him, strangely fed-up. He grunted, chanting my name as I felt useless, feeling like a passenger distantly watching my own body, move back and forth, whilst, he fucked me. Eventually, he peaked his climax, weakening as he slid out gradually, panting as he lay back beside me. I felt nothing as I looked towards the white ceiling, counting the popcorn terrain.

"Ah, woah!" I heard him exclaim, his side of the bed dipping as he sat up, "that was magical, baby. How are you feeling? You okay, babe?" he leaned over to me, rubbing his index finger across my stomach.

I had to blink. It felt like I hadn't for an eternity. It took effort to distract myself from the daydreaming I'd felt only moments ago completely ensnare me. He was still affectionally tickling his finger across my stomach, watching me through the darkness. "Of course," I muttered, nodding perhaps more than I needed to as I sat up. "I'm just gonna get a glass of water then I'll join you back in bed." Then I slipped off the bed, grabbing my silk black dressing gown from off the beige carpet floor and left through the bedroom door.

Everything was perfect. I'd recited that through my head. What more could I have wanted? It didn't feel that way sometimes. After, fetching a glass of water from the kitchen, I steered away from returning upstairs and headed for the conservatory, an extension to the back of the house which held a comfy, grey two-seated couch and plush blue pillows. It was the perfect spot to look out to the night sky, a perfect place to reflect and cleanse my thoughts. Something, I'd noticed I was doing often regularly. I couldn't held that sigh that left my lips as the water lapped up the sides of the glass from the interruption of my hands swirling it around in its transparent cage. It hadn't always been like this. After-all, I had the husband, I had affordable mortgage on a four-bedroomed house, I had the dream job all before the age of thirty. Forgodssake, I was only twenty five. What possibly more could I want? But if that was the case, why had I found sex with Nick, my husband, so mundane. It seemed like a routine, every Sunday, anytime when he wasn't away, we'd had sex, I'd lay there, bored, wondering why I was so miserable. Was something wrong with me?

I stood up, placing the glass on the centre island counter returning from the conservatory before heading through the corridor towards the central living room, scouting the room at the commodities. On the firewall, held Nick and mine's wedding photo, our five year's anniversary would be next month. The photo looked like a stranger; a lost past. What had changed? I was so happy back then.  The way our eyes looked at each other in that photo would make any possible couple long for that connection. A connection I'd felt I'd strangely lost. My fingers rubbed the sides of my temple as I miserably sat into the leather one-seater, staring into the thin air. I didn't feel like sleeping. I hadn't felt like sleeping lately. I suspected insomnia. Always that nagging voice within my head, continually thinking, talking like an orchestra of music not allowing me time to sleep. What was wrong with me?

***

"Rose. Rose." I felt some force nudging my shoulder, stirring me from the pits of sleep forcing me to open my eyes and register their presence. It was Nick, his strawberry blonde hair was combed neatly back, his stubble almost non-existent from a morning's shave and that strong cologne attacked my senses, making me feel more alert. "Babe, you must have fell asleep downstairs. It's seven o'clock. You okay?" he asked, standing up tall then as he adjusted his grey tie.

I nodded glancing to my surroundings. I must have just decided to drift off. Shit. "W---" I began to speak but my words fell short.

"---I've got to go to work soon, hon. You'll be okay, won't you? I'm sorry I didn't tell you this Friday, but the company has got me on another two day trip out of town. I'll be back Wednesday, love," he cut in, a lousy smile crept onto his lips as I sat up, confused and noticing the mini black suitcase.

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