Chapter Fifteen

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PRE-WARNING. MILD/ FAIRLY MATURE SCENES

I was exhausted. Physically. Against the steep rocky terrains, my trainers felt like they were burning tire tracks. We'd been walking through the small town for about an hour tops, scattering through the tiny shops and exploring some of the historic settlements. I had to stop as I leaned on a metal, slightly ageing fence standing proud before some old Church Abbey. Bits of moss brushed onto my grey jacket as I leaned my elbow down.

"I just...need," I said, heaving another mouthful of air. "A break." I swallowed as I wiped the damp sweat from my brow feeling just about to ready flop onto a bed and fall asleep. Shane chuckled lightly as he planted both hands on his hips. He wasn't a bit out of breath and it was no wonder from his athletic physique. I was pretty darn sure he could run a marathon if he wanted to right now and he'd wouldn't even be swallowing air like a goldfish, like I was currently doing.

"It's just around the corner, I swear," he encouraged me, spreading his fingers out to gesture me to take. I clasped his open hand trying to move along with his long strides as we passed the small terraced, coastal houses each side of us. I wasn't therefore surprised when the coast came into view with its lapping tidal waves.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Shane said, his eyes searching the horizon as I dared to glance at him. You're beautiful, I almost said aloud, finding the happiness etched in his facial features a charm to my heart. We didn't stand in the spot for long as we were soon heading for the metal black stairs that led down towards the sandy beach.

It was still a little chilly, and the weather hadn't brightened but it wasn't raining so that was a bonus. I found more warmth when I held Shane's hand. From the few people scattered along the beach; the man throwing a stick to his dog, the odd couples, some elderly and some young, we looked like any other couple. Nobody knew. No one could come up to me and accuse me of cheating. They didn't know my life story. For all they knew, I was just together with Shane. It felt...oddly refreshing. But, I couldn't excuse the level of moral culpability wrenching a invisible knife into the pits of my stomach. That was the truth. I am the only one who knows. And suddenly I felt more lonely than possible. For that moment, I wanted those oblivious people upon the beach to know, I wanted them to shout and shake their heads in disagreement because then it would stop the emerging happiness I felt when I was alone with Shane.

"I love coming here," Shane commented, bringing my attention back down towards earth as I watched him kick his shoes into the greyish sand. I linked my arm through his, feeling at ease again as I listened to him speak dragging my concentration purely to him. "I used to come here as a child. We'd owned a cabin just like the one I rent, and we'd come down a few weeks in the summer. My sister and I would build sandcastles, eat ice cream and get up to mischief."

"You have a sister?" I asked, stepping over the wet, tangled mess of brown seaweed in the sand.

"Yes. Her name is Veronica. She's twenty one. I'm four years older. Lucky for her, she doesn't have to worry about getting too much involved in the family business," he replied, "she's at University studying fashion. And do you have siblings?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm an only child. My parents struggled so they were just grateful to conceive me. It was too much stress for them to reconsider trying again. Sometimes, I've always wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister," I said, mindfully aware we were stepping into personal boundaries, perhaps digging deeper into our pasts and family.

We were walking in line to the tide. It wet sand full of sea shells, the odd stick and tangles of sea weed washing up the shore. "So, what made you want to become a writer?" Shane asked. I bit down my lip thumbing on that question.

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