Just You Wait | James Sirius Potter (On Hiatus)

Chapter 7: You'll Be Back

The aftermath of the courtyard incident included merciless pranking on both sides for years. However, it wasn't until my fourth year that I began to actively prank the other side as opposed to helping Rose and Alice write long insulting letters for Slytherins to place onto the Gryffindor bulletin board (something the muggle borns had installed a while ago). One of my favorite samples from one of the degrading letters is from our third year.

Dearest Gryffindorks,

I see you found the dungbombs yesterday. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell without the brown powder on the robes because the stench was the same as ever. We also received the punching telescopes. I hope you're happy that a group of innocent first years and our very own head girl were victims of it. Honestly the telescope barely left a bruise. I suppose the telescope reflects the strength of the purchaser. We are planning things you could never even dream of, while you are lying around in boxes of premade prank supplies. I would say that we expected more from you, but honestly, we didn't.

Until next time,

Your favorite snakes

Unfortunately for me, my association with the Slytherin pranksters meant that the one and only James Sirius Potter, "prank master extraordinaire", was aware that he was being conspired against by me. He would constantly approach me between classes to try to get information about the next prank out of me, or to try to guilt trip me into giving him some ideas I've been having about future pranks. Luckily, I was just as stubborn as he was and just as petty. So much, that during quidditch matches where I served as commentator, I'd take a stab at his pride every now and again while he played. Not to mention that my father was quidditch commentator for all of three days before McGonagall kicked him out. For example, the last quidditch match with Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor went something like this:

"The amazing Gwendolyn Wood blocks yet another shot from our least favorite chaser James Potter."

"Miss Lupin." chided McGonagall.

"Sorry professor. I mean the somewhat mediocre chaser James Potter."

"Miss. Lupin."

"Sorry again professor. I meant the kinda good I guess chaser James Potter."

McGonagall sighs from behind me because she knows I won't get any nicer than that.

"HOLY SHIT. Both Gryffindor beaters take aim at Alice Longbottom as she tries to score and she dodges PERFECTLY, and she distracts Gryffindor Keeper Evan Wood by....... Is she really? BATTING HER EYELASHES??? HAHAHAHA EVAN IS 100000% WHIPPED THE GRYFFINDORS ARE FUCKED."

"LANGUAGE Miss Lupin."

"Sorry professor. AAAND our fantastic chaser Rose Granger-Weasley manages to score another ten points for Ravenclaw as our beloved little seeker Lily Luna Potter grabs the snitch from right in front of the Gryffindork - sorry professor - Gryffindoofus - Sorry Professor - Gryffindor seeker. WE FUCKING WON. IN YOUR FACE HOUSE CATS."

"MISS LUPIN. Detention."

"Apologies professor."

I sent a letter to dad with the recording of my commentary on the match and according to mum's letter, he was howling (pun intended) with laughter when he read what I'd done. He said it reminded him of how his three days of quidditch commentary were. Fortunately for me, McGonagall decided that I could keep my position as Quidditch commentator.

Unfortunately, Cora raced up to me urgently after the match with seven words.

"Prank war emergency. Slytherin common room. Now."