Chapter 12

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When we see the horizon of another larger city in the distance we rest.

The city behind us is long gone, along with the sun. My feet were aching from the miles we walked today. I'm pretty sure I've never walked that far before in my life.

"Does anyone have anything to make a fire with?" I shiver slightly. Now that the sun has gone down and we have stopped walking, my body temperature is decreasing significantly. If I get sick again I won't want to continue moving in this heat.

"Yes, but we only have a few supplies to make 1 or 2 fires and they'll be really small. Do we want to use the supplies now or save them for later?" Thomas started to set up camp.

I knew we should save them for later but I was freezing in the wind. How come there wasn't any wind when it was over a hundred degrees out?!

"Let's use them now. And then save the rest for another time." Newt looks at me worriedly as he pulls my back against his chest and wraps his arms around me.

Thomas nods his head in agreement, "We are all pretty cold and we don't want our muscles to get stiff".

Minho and frypan begin to make a fire as the rest of us sit on the ground around it.

When they finish building the fire I can see Winston across from me. His entire face is wrapped up except his eyes, which are bloodshot from crying. I want to go over and sit with him, but I'm too cold to move. Not that I'd know what to say if I did. I can't ask him if he's okay cause the answer is obvious and I'm not good in serious situations. I feel guilty. I don't know most of the guys here, but they probably all know me. I wish I was of more help. I wish I was a better person.

But I'm not.

I stare into the fire as I make eye contact with Winston.

I look back into his eyes. I see something there. Like an unspoken acknowledgment of each other. As if to say he understands how I'm feeling and it's okay. Although it's most likely my imagination running wild once again. I don't break eye contact with him until Thomas begins to ration out our food.

Tonight, I get two sips of water and six crackers.

They weren't lying. The fire is extremely small. It's about a foot long and the 20 of us had to make a huge circle around.

We talked in small groups, which helped to break the awkward silence that was slowly forming.

I ate in silence.

"You alright, love?" Newt brushed my thick curls out of my face, the way I usually do, but my hands are too cold to do it now.

"Other than almost freezing to death, I'm fine. How are you." I bury my face in his warm chest.

He rubs my bare arms at my response. I know he's cold in his short sleeved shirt too. I can see the goosebumps on his arm, yet he's sacrificing his warmth for me. He always puts me before him. I hate it because I have nothing to give back to him. He says he doesn't care, but he must. There's no way he can be happy with a one sided relationship. How is this supposed to work when I can never protect him? All I do is worry him and make him angry. He's too good for me and it's sad.

"Did you get enough to eat."

I nod my head in reply.

"Do you want some of mine?" He still has two crackers left over in his hand.

"No. You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I know that's a lie, because I'm starving and you're bigger than me and did more work than me. Eat."

"I knew you were hungry. Why are you always so stubborn?" He sighs exasperated, running his hands through his hair.

"Newt I want you to eat. Please eat for me." I beg. He already wasn't gaining enough energy, now he wasn't going to eat? And I'm the stubborn one?

He looks me in the eyes as he hesitantly eats the remains of his food.

I really want to kiss him right now, but I can't with everyone else around. So I settle with cuddling. No one will find it gross because of the cold, so I am comfortable with it.

We lay down on the gritty sand and he uses the sheet from before to tuck around me, leaving none for him.

"What about you?" I ask concerned.

"You're body heat keeps me warm."

"Look who's lying now."

He rolls his eyes, but smiles slightly. "Go to sleep. I don't want you to worry about me."

"But I do."

He smiles, "I know. I love you Carly."

"I love you Newt." I smile into his neck. His skin was really warm there. I could tell my face was cold by the way he yelped and jumped back at my touch, "Sorry!"

"You're fine. Just wasn't expecting it, love." He chuckles.

I rest my head on his clothed shoulder this time, instead. It wasn't as warm but it would suffice.

Everyone else seemed to have somehow fallen asleep already. I laugh, "GOOD NIGHT THOMAS!"

He groans what sounds like a goodnight causing me to giggle.

"Wow you're really something else." Newt says sarcastically with a small smirk on his face.

"I know." I say cockily.

"Sleep love. I'll wake you in the morning."

"Okay Newty."

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