24. missing him

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i deadass got 6 chapters (including this one) left till the finale 😭 as of right now i'm thinking about writing a book #2, i just gotta plan everything out and all. if i do, u already kno the tittle gonna be "i'm with u" ofc.

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right now, we were happy.

no drama, no pettiness, no ugly ass levy, no annoying ass jacob. just the girls and our newest best friend, ayahmarie.

we were all sitting/laying down on malani and glizzy's floor and bed talking.

"damn" said flacka "this really where ayah was made"
"nah i think it was at my house" said malani
"or probably the school bathroom" said aaliyah
"bruh" i said "y'all remember when malani was a hoe?"
"shut up" said malani, rolling her eyes
"you only mad cause you know it's the truth" said zaniyah
"i can't believe glizzy's dumbass really changed you" said flacka
"i'm hipp." i said "fucking GLIZZY"

"y'all can joke all you want, but i'm scared guys" said malani
"about what?" asked kayla
"i haven't really told anyone about this fear, because i'm scared it might come true." said malani "but i'm scared zion is going to leave me"
"are you serious?" said zaniyah, looking dumbfounded.

"before i found out i was pregnant- kiari and flacka i told y'all this- me and glizzy were arguing constantly. i sometimes felt like i was the luckiest girl ever and other times i felt like i had to leave him"
"i know what you mean malani, we all noticed it" said kayla
"yeaaa, especially at that football game we went to." said aaliyah
"so why didn't y'all say nothing?" asked malani
"because there were moments." i said "moments where you looked the happiest you've ever been"

"you're right kiari, i did feel happy. and all throughout my pregnancy, we were happy. but i'm just scared he's gonna lose interest and bail out on my and the baby."
"lose interest?" said zaniyah "keep in mind we talking bout the same nigga that dropped out of school and started working with one of the most dangerous drug dealers in birmingham, for you and for that baby. the last thing on glizzy's mind is leaving you. the  reason why y'all don't argue as much now is because since he's a fucking father he learned responsibility and stopped being a goofy ass nigga. he a man now. your man"

"thank you z. you right, i'm just tripping" said malani, smiling. "you did bring up a good point though, he is working with one of the most dangerous drug dealers in birmingham."

i didn't catch on at first, but slowly, one by one, we all turned our heads to aaliyah.

"what?" she asked
"don't act stupid" i said "hows it like dating a drug dealer?"
"ask zaniyah and malani" said aaliyah
"don't get smart with me. glizzy and tay's goofy asses ain't as up there as levy and devonte"

aaliyah sighed "i guess, if y'all really wanna know"
"we do!" exclaimed kayla
"i mean, i'm not really involved with that and neither is levy, it's literally mostly jus my devonte. i help them count cash sometimes. that's devonte's job cause mario trusts him. i guess they're like cousins or something, i don't know. i got to touch an AK-47, which was pretty dope. levy said she might get us matching guns or some shit but ion know how i feel."

the only person who was truly shocked was kayla's ol innocent ass.

"that's it?" said flacka "i thought y'all was out hea shootin' people and shit"
"right" said malani "i've seen more shit"

aaliyah shrugged. "levy doesn't like to be caught up in that life, she want to protect me from it"

"i cant believe i'm the only one who's shocked!" said kayla "you guys are like real life bonnie and clyde"
"i forgot you were dating anthony" said aaliyah
"not yet" said kayla "remember, we're taking things slooooow"

"but you're almost dating ?" i asked
"almost" smiled kayla "i feel it in my gut"
"that ain't the only thing you feel in your gut" said malani

kayla looked at the baby, then at malani.
"really, do you really wanna go there malani?"

we all laughed at kayla's unexpected comeback.

"anthony is one of the biggest blessings in my life. he's an angel" said kayla
"i would try to argue, but she's not wrong" said flacka
"he's the total opposite of jermaine, i didn't even know guys like him existed!"

i got kinda upset when she mentioned that. i remember that once, i talked that highly about nick. i didn't know guys like him existed, and the only one i knew, i let go.

"that's what i used to think of nick" i said sadly
"kiari, i think he will make his way back to you" said kayla
"i don't think so, i mean i really really fucked up" i said

flacka stared at me.
and stared.
and stared some more.

"kiari. do you realize this is approximately the fifth time i'm having this conversation with you?" she asked

i hadn't noticed, but she was right. ever since nick left, i've had multiple breakdowns about "meeting a guy like him", despite being involved with jacob.

"yes" i sniffled.
"do you like jacob?" she asked me
"yes" i sniffled some more.
"no kiari. do you like jacob?" she asked
"i don't know" i said
"then you don't. if you really liked him the way you liked nick, you would've been feening over him right now, instead of crying over someone else. you talk more about nick on the daily than jacob! you need to end things with him right now. period."

"i agree with flacka" said malani "as much as i dislike, and i mean dislike, jacob , it's not fair to him that you hardly like him"
"end things with him right now!" said zaniyah.

my friends pushing me made me realize i had to get myself out of what my emotions had gotten me into, so i texted jacob to meet me at glizzy's as soon as possible. it was an emergency.

he said "k. be there 15"

we waited for 15 minutes to pass, and in 25 minutes, jacob texted me that he was outside. damn, i said it was an emergency. so if i was dying, he just said "fuck kiari"?

i walk towards him outside and give him a hug. he tries to kiss me but i dodge him.

"i already know wassup" he said
"what?"
"you gon end shit with me cause you see ya lil young bitch nigga getting some money"
"that's not why!" i exclaimed
"you ain't gotta explain yourself kiari, i understand i ain't rich like him"
"jacob, im simply not looking for a guy right now to invest my time in"
"yea right" he scoffed "and to think"
"to think what?"
"nothing"
"tell me" i demanded
"i took your earrings that was on your nightstand and sold them for some money to buy some pills for a party. i was planning to by you new ones and shit" he said, shaking his head.

bitch.

"am i supposed to be happy or something? you trick ass nigga" i said, angrily

he walked back to his car.

"you were just nick's leftovers anyway" he said
"leave , you fucking bobby brown faces ass crackhead" i said, but i don't think he heard me.

i was finally free, but i wasn't happy.

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i'm sorry if y'all found this chapter boring 😭 but it's essential to the development of the storyline. next chapters is crazy y'all !! i wanna update this week but due to school and allat i might not update till friday-saturday but i'm excited!

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