A couple of weeks pass by, and Gabby is still in a coma. Dad apparently called the school and told them that I wasn't showing up at school because I was 'affected greatly by the recent events' since Gabby and I were 'very close.' Of course, it's only half true, but the headmaster believed Dad's words. He even told the teachers to go easy on me, and I was assigned two tutors to help me out with what I'd missed during my days of absence.
The two tutors happened to be Johnny and his girlfriend, Caroline, which I found kind of funny. They're both smart, but they exceed each other in different subjects. They come over after school or on the weekend and take turns tutoring me for the day, then we have dinner together—an opportunity Dad took to 'get to know my friends better'—before they leave. Those are the days in which I don't go and visit Gabby. I visit her all the other days.
Although Caroline and I aren't very close, she still tries to joke around, along with Johnny, in an attempt to cheer me up. She knows some parts of the stuff that happened between Gabby and I since I've talked about it in front of her, so she knows it's affecting me a lot more than what some people at school believe. It's been affecting me recently more than at the beginning as well, since the doctors said her condition hasn't changed at all.
I drown myself in studying to distract myself. I study for hours on end, and I even study at the hospital sometimes. And instead of staying up thinking of Gabby, I study until I fall asleep on my desk. Dad sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night to find me fast asleep on top of my textbooks. He says I shouldn't burn myself out by studying so much, but I don't have any other way to distract myself from the pain that's eating at my insides.
There's one other way that I sometimes choose, which is drinking until I feel nothing. I don't do it every day, normally just on weekends when I can sleep in the next day, but I feel myself slowly starting to depend on alcohol more than I should. I don't want to turn out like how my father used to be, but I can't help but feel so hopeless at times that I just do it.
Today, I went to the hospital earlier than I normally would. I wanted to stay a little longer than I normally do, and I didn't bring anything with me. Right now, I'm simply sat on the chair I always sit on, holding Gabby's hand and rubbing circles on the back of her hand. I've stopped crying when visiting her, and I don't know if I should count it as a good thing or a bad thing. I don't know if I'm being strong or am simply too numb to feel sadness.
When I looked at the date of today this morning, it didn't mean anything to me at first, but then I realized that in one week, it'll be four months since New Year's. It upset me a little. It only reminded me of what went down that day, making me want to make myself forget again, but I couldn't. I came here instead.
Not that it helped. I ended up remembering that tomorrow marks the twenty-eighth day of Gabby being in a coma. Four whole weeks have passed, and I've gone from feeling guilty and blaming myself to feeling nothing at all. I do really want to get better, but only God knows how that is even possible.
—
it's ending soon, woah. oh god. i'm gonna have to leave my baby :((
have you ever been numb?
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Loving You (Loving #1) | ✓
Short Story[SHORT CHAPTERS] * falling in love with you was the best thing that has ever happened to me. but the process of loving you has been the worst thing i've ever been through. * In which a boy with a broken heart writes letters to the girl h...
