Letter 20| Finale

45 5 11
                                    


i'm leaving for miami next week. we'll be staying there three weeks, then dad will come back here for work and i'll go straight to cali. did i tell you i was accepted into stanford? that's why i'm heading there. i'll be studying psychology there. i'm finally starting to live, gabby. i don't simply exist anymore, i feel more alive than ever. i'm alive, gabby.

i've decided to leave this notebook with your mom. at first, i wasn't so sure; i felt like it'd be embarrassing for someone to read whatever i've written here (i don't remember half of what i wrote, i'm sure it's downright embarrassing), but i'm leaving, so why not? i also bought you a birthday gift, wrapped it, and put a small number one on it. i'm hoping you'll understand and open it first.

i was at the mall with johnny and caroline, his girlfriend, once, caroline basically dragged us into tens of stores. that's when i saw this necklace. you've always loved daisies, and when i saw the small daisy pendant, i had to buy the necklace. consider it my birthday gift to you, since i won't even be here for your birthday. maybe you won't want to wear it, or you wouldn't have even wanted me to buy you anything, but i felt like buying you something, so i did, whether you decide to take it or not.

you know... looking back, falling in love with you was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

but the process of loving you has been the worst thing i've ever been through.

but i got through it. i was strong enough to endure it, gabby. remember, i love you and i'll always love you, and i hope you'll be well while i'm gone.

goodbye, sweetheart.

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