Bloody Fingers, Broken Mind

T I M E

Sleep does not last enough.
Those little moments where you can finally just close your eyes and listen to the music channeling into your ears or focus on the sounds around you don't last long enough.
Time with friends doesn't last long enough.
The amount of time between your goodbye to a person you love and the end of the day could be deadly.
Your words to the person you argued with and left could be your last words to them.
Time is a contradiction.
It doesn't last and goes by fast, but it carries on for infinity.
Heartache can last a lifetime or be numbed by the end of the day.
Lust can consume two hearts in blazing flames of want, but the love will never be there.
So tell me, dear, when it's me you hold closest at night, is it love or lust in your the eyes?
When your lips search mine for affection and your hands roam my body for reaction, is it just a moment of pleasure for you?
Because to me it is so much more.
To me, I like to think your eyes hold a gaze so full of admiration for me, it's overflowing.
To me, I like to feel like your touch is taking in every scar, stretch mark, and freckle with the intent of remembering their placement.
You see, I like to think all this, but I know it's not really... real.
You don't see me with admiration or awe.
You don't touch me with the intent of remembering it was me who made you feel so damn good.
And you won't even think of me after you walk out that door.
But I will continue to think of you long after another is gazing at me with the crave of my curves,
Touching me with the want for pleasure,
And leaving me without a goodbye.
All of these drunk one night stands are my easiest hellos, but my hardest unsaid goodbyes.
But that's okay.
Because no matter what, time will move on and leave all this behind.
It will move on and leave everyone for dead.
Including my infinitely broken heart.