The Girl Behind It All

Chapter 9

          The sound of my heart breaking reverberated through my body. I sat tied to the chair, Oliver stood still as a statue, and I just stared at him. Oliver Queen is The Hood. He kissed me in my apartment, and asked me out-! "Was the date a lie? Did you use me, take me to dinner to dangle me in front of your enemies only to have me taken?"

     "No, Felicity, please believe me. It wasn't like that at all!" He placed the bow on the floor and pulled his hood back. I could see his face clearly now. "Shut up, Diggle and just get here." He mumbled. Diggle. He knew, too.

     "This is why I don't let people get close to me. This is why I hide behind computer screens, Oliver! How could you?" I hiccuped, tears flowing freely down my face.

     "Felicity, I asked you out tonight because I like you. You, as a person. As someone I could potentially be with. THAT is the only thing I regret about tonight."

     "You regret taking me on a date?" If my heart wasn't shattered before it was now.

     "No, no that's not what I meant." Sirens sounded from a distance. Diggle walked in just then and shook his head at Oliver.

     "Great plan, by the way. Not scaring her away, and all." He walked up to me and I just hung my head. I couldn't look at either of them. "Felicity, let me take you home?" Oliver's voice sounded so close to my ear. I just nodded. I couldn't hate him, not for anything. I've come to care about the Hood and Oliver in their own separate entities that, knowing they are one in the same, I can understand it now. He held out his hand to me and when I didn't take it he scooped me up in his arms and carried me away. My tears never stopped, not once.But I've become a master at crying quietly. I must have fallen asleep on the ride back to my apartment because the next thing I know is I'm being laid in bed. "I do not regret taking you out, Felicity. You are the only person who gets me through the day. I run to the office in hopes to run into you in the morning and always seem to end up here at night."

     "You said . . ." I mumbled into my pillow.

     "I regret putting you in danger. I want to be with you, but I'm afraid I can't." It was my half asleep imagination and the way his voice broke on that last word. "I can't have you hurt because I'm selfish. You're my girl, Felicity. You always will be. My only one." Oliver, The Hood, pressed his lips firmly against mine. Tasting sweet like Oliver and salty, like sweat and tears. It wasn't long before I was lost in nightmares, in dreams about Oliver. About the Hood. About being a part of the team.

          I sat straight up in bed some time early in the morning,  sunlight shining bright in the sky. "I'm his girl. I'll be his girl, as a part of the team." Tracking Oliver's phone was a bit harder than tracking Diggle's but when I finally found a signal, even the slightest and faintest of beeps, he was at Verdant. Oliver's club. So, I showered and dressed and made sure I had my essentials. My glasses, my tablet, my USB with all the software needed to hack any operating system needed. Because between Diggle and Oliver, and Oliver's constant presence in my office at QC, I knew they needed something they didn't have. Outside my building I hailed a cab and headed to the club. It was empty. It was still early in the day but Tommy Merlyn was there when I walked in.

     "We're closed," He called out after he spotted me hesitating by the door. I inhaled deeply and squared my shoulders.

     "I'm here to see Oliver."  

     "You and me both."

          I didn't say anything because Olivera little green dot showed he was just under my feet right next to Diggle's blue dot. "That's fine. He told me to just go wait in his office for him."

Tommy raised an eyebrow and pointed to the back room. I found the door easily though Oliver hid it well and when Tommy wasn't watching me, I cracked the password and entered.

Quietly as the door closed, creating an air tight seal I assume, I inched down the stairs. What was once the storage room was turned into a . . . Heaven! Computers and screens and arrows and weirder things like large tires and bars that connected to the ceiling. My heart stopped and my mouth dried as I saw Oliver in jeans working his way up those bars. Sweat dripping down his neck and chest. I looked around the room again and saw John watching me with a funny look before clearing his throat. Oliver's hand slipped and I caught my breath.

     "What?" He asked John, still not aware of my presence.

     "You know working out in jeans is theoretically not correct. It doesn't bend and move like sweatpants would." I rambled on and Oliver swung around to face me. Shock spread across his face before a slow smile emerged. "How did you find us?"

          I  shrugged and held up my tablet showing the blue and green dot. "Kind of a computer wizard." Without waiting for him to say anything I approached the computer screens spread out on a random desk. Disgusted, I shivered. "Really, your operating system is way past due for an upgrade. How are you catching criminals on this?"

Oliver gave me a weird look and said, "We've been managing." Then he whispered something to John I didn't quite here.

           John answered not so quietly, "I don't know. Ask her. Excuse me, Felicity,  I have to ... be somewhere else right now." He pursed his lips at Oliver and walked out.

     "Just speak, Oliver. What's on your mind?" I said, inspecting the computer screens. I sat in the swivel chair and tried to calm my heartbeat.

          Oliver didn't say anything for a few long minutes. In those minutes my mind exploded, imploded, and sat blankly all at the same time. Also, I found flaws in their system that I automatically got to working on without permission. I was turned around and Oliver placed one hand on each arm rest. He leaned forward so we were at eye level with each other.

     "What are you doing here, Felicity?"

     "Would you like me to leave?"

     "No, I didn't say that."

     "Then I'm here to help you. To help the Hood and be a part of this team."

     "Why?"

     "Why not?" When he didn't say anything I continued, "You come to me for help anyway and I never questioned you. What you should have done yesterday was tell me you needed help and I would have offered. Not pretend that it was a date and that you were interested in me because I- because I would have helped regardless. I have a habit of getting myself into trouble anyway, so-" Oliver cut me off with his lips. He pressed them hard to mine and used one arm to lift me up onto the desk and the other to hold my head in place. His lips parted and mine automatically responded. Finally he broke away, "You're my girl, Felicity. You always will be, okay? I didn't pretend to be interested. I am interested in you, very much. I just- I cant- I don't want you-"

          I put my finger over his lips to sush him. "I understand." I moved my fingers and pressed a quick kiss to his mouth before pushing him away and hopping off the desk.

"Now go do what you do and leave me alone." I smiled brightly up at him. He smiled back and disappeared.

          At least my heartbreak wasn't as bad as I had expected. Still, being around Oliver and not being able to have him will not be good for a girl. With a heavy sigh, I sat down to update his entire system.

          I think it's possible to fall in love with Felicity Smoak. I shouldn't. She'll get hurt. Someone will use her to hurt me. But I think it will be really easy to fall in love with her. I think I already am. I just have to keep that to myself.