SONGS OF OURSELVES

❦ private

my new fire, you oughtta come to light me

around this time i only want you here

it can't be obvi,

i'm way too fly to let you out me

but i do care

❧ tokimonsta, "realla"

"Do you want seconds, haba? There's more than enough for another helping."

"No, thank you. I couldn't possibly eat another bite," Xosa knew there wasn't enough stew. Not unless Cebo and Loi went to bed hungry that night. 

He could smell famine's perfume on their necks. He tasted it in their water. It seeped through their pores. The emptiness. 

"And please stop calling me haba. We're all equals here."

"Sorry, haba. Please take another bowl."

The god sighed and accepted the stew.

"I don't think I ever introduced myself. My name is Xosa."

"Just Xosa? Your parents didn't leave you a family name, haba?"

Xosa very nearly said gods don't have fathers before he reconsidered. How would he possibly explain he was born of himself from the infinite void (Xosa literally created his body out of sheer will and cosmic brake dust) without rupturing their brains?

"I'm an orphan," he said instead.

The tension in Cebo's shoulders released. "Oh, good. For a second we thought we invited Loveschild back to our hut."

"Who?"

"Haba, you must live under a rock!" Loi slapped her thick thighs for emphasis and leaned forward. "You really need to get out more. Everyone's heard of a mysterious Fanatic running around the countryside with death marks just like yours. Folks say he's half out of his mind. Entire trees explode if he so much as looks at them."

(so the situation is worse than i thought.)

"He's a nightmare," Cebo shuddered. "No one knows where he came from. It's like he spawned out of nowhere. A friend of mine said Loveschild was raised in Vichinga with craft merchants, but that's just bull."

"I thought he grew up in Theda with fishermen."

"One of the two. Either way, you might want to hide your tattoos in public, haba. Someone could easily mistake you two, especially near the border between Misael and Bamidele. The Heretics are scared of Loveschild, and rightfully so. Imagine how differently the war would've gone if he was on our side. Even the village maliib says he's a demigod. Or a demon."

"Gods don't lie with mortals," Xosa said blankly, wondering if the irony would strike him blind. He forgot how effortlessly maliibs misinterpreted the most basic religious facts. Cebo and Loi were better off forwarding their existential questions to him. "The boy... Loveschild isn't a demon. I'm certain of it."