Everyone has done shitty things, my self included. Life has funny ways of getting you back but most the time you have to get that to get back up and be stronger.
I'm dreaming...
He's walking away and leaving but it isn't Ciaran, it's someone else. No matter how many times I call them to stay they ignore me.
"Wait, please....." "I'm sick of being pushed away. I'm sick of being left. Please don't leave me, I need one person to be there for me even if it won't last forever. I need it right now. Please...." They continued to ignore me. Hot tears streamed down my fragile skin. "Ciaran?"
"It's not Ciaran..."
I woke up in a cold sweat. Taking a deep breath I reached for my phone, checking the time.
23:30.
I have to message Ciaran, I'm a fucking mess.
CONVERSATION WITH
CIARAN
Me:
I'm so fucking sorry but I really need to fucking talk. You can say anything you want too me if you'd like x
Ciaran:
I'm fine. I just needed time away for you. I don't think we're meant to be in a relationship but I'm always here for you. I do love you, I just don't know if I can really love you in the way i did before. We took it too fast. Way too fast. I get what happened between you and Matt was an accident but it still fucking hurts when you lie to me. You said you never did anything with each other but you clearly fucking did and you knew that. It was a shitty thing for you to do but you made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes, y/n, and my mistake was thinking our relationship was going too last.
Me:
Thank you so fucking much for replying, even that means the world to me. I completely understand why you were upset and you have every right too. I just want to make everything right. I really do.
Ciaran:
I know. I'm gonna call you
He was ringing. I answered with the perkiest voice I could so I didn't sound like I've been crying for ages.
"Hey..."
"Hey to you too. You sound like you've been crying."
He's right, I have been crying. "Pffff, I don't cry. You're real funny."
"I have a deal for you."
"Go on..."
"Come around to the house tomorrow. I have an idea."
"Okay...?"
"Don't ask questions. It's a lot less creepy than it sounds."
"I'll see you then."
"Bye, y/n."
"Bye, Ciaran."
