The Innocence

Chapter eight

- November 20th - living - six weeks after -

"We are gathered here today to say goodbye to a precious soul. Aurora was a humble and caring young lady, we question why someone so young is taken so soon. Aurora was accompanied by her best friend, Andrew, as we know he was there in her final moments.
"Would you like to say a few words son?" The priest asked.
I nodded, knowing I wouldn't be able to make any of this better by saying something for her. I reached in my suit for the flash cards. Still limping from the boot on my leg, that didn't look very great with the suit.
I cleared my throat, "Thank you, for being here today." I paused looking around at familiar faces; friends of Aurora's, family that I haven't seen since her mother passed away. Hazel and Lucas, were huddled together looking at me. Hazel looked pale in the face, not wearing any makeup from all the tears. Lucas also looked pale but not from tears but from an ache I knew far too well. I made brief eye contact with Arthur, Aurora's dad. Afraid of the glare I'd get from him. My mom looked so broken it was beyond how I or anyone felt.
Another big breath, as I looked down again at my cards, "I-I know this can't be easy. Aurora was amazing person." I paused again to catch my breath before breaking in front of everyone, "She was my best friend, I loved her. She was a light in a tunnel of darkness. She didn't deserve this, and I promise you I tried everything I could. She was goofy, and reassuring the whole time, until the very end. She wanted me to tell all of you, that she loves you." I made eye contact with Arthur, who seemed to finally let his breath out. "She doesn't want any of us to stopping living or loving the way we do. Don't stop going to the places we love to go or eating at the restaurant we enjoy. To live like nothing has changed although we all know it definitely has. I know, that I will live everyday I have left on the earth to my very best. Because she would want me too. I hope you all will too." I said folding the stack of cards in my hand and putting them in my pocket. I limped back to my mom who reached her arm out to me.
"Well said drew." She whispered, sniffing.
"Thank you Andrew, those were lovely and very encouraging words. We are grateful for his bravery and courage for his efforts on a night that was meant to be a celebration of life that turned into a nightmare. We are so grateful that we didn't lose both of them. Aurora's life was well spent and truly beautiful. She won't be forgotten as we shall carry her with us everywhere but deeply missed she will be. The innocence of a child is taken away, when another sins. She was bright and blessed. We know she's smiling down upon us, loving us from above..."
The ceremony carried on, with Arthur saying a few words, then came the time for people to drop a rose on her coffin as they went off to their cars. I stood there, knowing that roses weren't her favorite flower. She loved them, yes; They were a connection to her mother, but she didn't love them herself. People began to leave once the roses were all dropped. But I stood there, waiting for her be lowered.
My mom was talking with Arthur and the priest before coming over to me, "Andrew, hun. I'll be at the car okay?" My mom told me softly, "You take your time." She kissed my forehead.
I closed my eyes as she did and a tear came rushing down my cheek, I whipped it away. I stood there quietly, with my hands in my pockets. Watching the coffin drift from sight. Hazel and Lucas came over to me.
"Hey, we just wanted to say bye." Hazel told placing her hand on my arm.
"Yeah, thanks for coming guys. Means a lot." I told.
Lucas looked at me, I felt this pure hatred towards me. I didn't blame him, I did too. I hated that she was gone. Things were starting for us. I saw Hazel nudge Lucas and give him a stare to say something.
"Uh yeah take care bud." He struggled, "I'll be at the car." He told Hazel, giving her a peck on the cheek before walking away.
She nodded and then looked at me, coming closer, "He not mad at you, Andrew. He's just hurt like we all are. He'll come around soon." She explained.
"It's okay. I understand." I told.
"Hey.." She ponders for a moment, " I'm here for you. We both are. We know how close you and Aurora were." She finished.
"Thank you Hazel." I smiled, and returned it.
I turned toward the coffin that was barely see able anymore. I stood there for a moment, feeling the cold on my cheeks, closing my eyes. I opened them from the feeling of snow drops landing on my lips. It had began to snow, first time in years its been late. I smiled, which faded at the thought of what today was.
"She would hate this." Arthur said behind me, startling me before standing next to me, "Everyone being so sad, especially you, son." He told.
I didn't say anything. I felt I didn't have a right to speak to him. I looked at the ground now.
"She would do anything to see you smile." He paused. "I know she didn't die blaming you for this, neither would I. There wasn't a hateful bone in her body, no matter how much we butted heads." He turned towards me. My eyes were all watery.
"Don't stop living because she did, live for her. That was very good advice. I hope you'll listen to them." He patted my shoulder, than handed me a note, "I found it in her desk. It had a sticky note saying 'when the times right' figured this is a better time then any." He held it out, with his black leather glove.
I took it from him, it was written in her finest hand writing. I turned towards arthur who had already walked away after I had taken it from him. He went over to my mom. I opened the flap, she never sealed it.

"Dear Andrew,
There's so much I want to say to you, but I don't know how. Because when I'm around you I feel this tense only friends but also this untamed longing of wanting to be together. I can't tell half the time how you feel, because you never look at me long enough for me to read you. Guess that's what I get for telling you the eyes are the gate way to the soul..
  What's does your soul say? That you clearly don't want me to know. I wonder if I were to show you my heart, just lay out all I feel for you on the table, would you do the same, or am I the only one who feels this way? I swore your mom saw right through me, but I guess she just as oblivious as you. Must be where you get it from. Haha..
I know what you're thinking, 'Why didn't you just come to me?' Hmm perhaps I did if you are reading this now. I guess this would be the moment I cut the crap and just tell you. Huh? Okay well here it goes.. I love you. Wow... if only I could see your face as you read that, maybe even just tell you face to face. Maybe after that I could tell you how your brown eyes turned to a golden rust in the sun. How it's my favorite thing to watch. Get to be more than your best friend. I don't know what you have planned for the 16th, but I do know it's going to be so fun; you're good at picking 'fun' things to do. You keep me on my toes, Drew. I'm hoping to tell you there. If I don't then you'll know that what I planned but still I resolved to this.
This is beginning to look like a journal entry but it's supposed to be a letter. So here, I've been in love with you, Andrew for a long time, never knowing when or how to say it, even if I should. We'd be together right now if cut the bull and just said it! I don't get what's so hard, you are my best friend, I can tell you everything else. Man you make me speechless. You understand me more than I understand myself. If you could see yourself through my eyes Andrew, you'd love yourself as much as I love you. Ugh I'm terrible with words, but still I said it. I only want you happy and smiling Drew, I always will no matter where life takes us, you have my heart Andrew!
             ~Love Aurora.❣️"