Hold On (I Still Need You) // muke

chapter eight

Luke didn't hear a word the doctor said when he stepped out. He was looking for two phrases only, "he's going to be alright," and the all too frightening, "I am sorry for your loss." Everything else ceased to matter to him.

So he held his breath when the doctor finished explaining how they had to pump his stomach and remove the traces of excess pills from his system. He could feel the world stop. It was frozen around him and he watched the doctors lips as they moved, formulating the words he so desperately wanted to hear.

"We managed to successfully rid his body of the pills. He's asleep for now, but he should be awake soon. He's going to be just fine."

Luke pushed his hands over his mouth as he smiled big enough to nearly split his face in half. It stung as his bitten raw lips, chapped and recovering from the assault of his nervous teeth raking them pulled, but he didn't care. Not when Michael was going to be okay and not when he was going to be able to take him away from this place.

Someone was looking out for him and he was so grateful.

"Can-Can I see him?" He asked and the doctor turned while offering a leading arm.

Luke's legs could collapse right now as he stepped through the heavy swinging doors with the man. The hallway was devastating. There was a sobbing couple four rooms away, an elderly woman breaking into tears, and a young man staring solemnly into a window. He understood, and he was praying for them.

When he finally got to Michael's room, the heavy breaths he was taking got caught in his throat. He paused at the doorframe and the doctor set a hand on his shoulder. "If he wakes up, call for somebody."

He nodded and then heard the man walk away from them finally. He hastily shut the door behind him and he approached the bed as cold chills froze over his veins. He was so happy Michael was okay, absolutely ecstatic with tears in his eyes and a full heart that beat just for him, but seeing him laying there hurt felt like ice water in his bloodstream. He wished they were never in this situation in the first place.

He held his lover's hand and then smiled as he felt his tears begin to fall down his face for the millionth time that night. He squeezed hard enough to break his wrist.

"You're gonna be okay." He spoke, his voice hoarse from screaming and crying all night long, and thick with emotion. "You'll be able to come home with me."

He felt his phone buzz, but he ignored it. Whoever it was could wait. Whoever it was didn't matter as much to him ad Michael did in this very moment.

"I love you." Luke told the sleeping man with a whisper. "I'll love you for all my life, even longer, and I won't stop. I promise I won't stop."

He sucked in a breath and then laughed at how traumatic this has been for him. "You better come back to me soon, Mikey." He squeezed his hand before leaning forward and pressing a kiss against his forehead.

His phone buzz again and he sighed before reaching into his back pocket and pulling it out. He turned it off with the roll of his eyes and then sighed. "Leave me alone." He muttered.

Luke jumped when he heard the door behind him shut. "Nice to see you care." A familiar voice sounded and he let out an exhausted chuckle.

"Ashton?" He asked as he turned around to see his best friend. Tight beside him was Michael's best friend. "Calum?"

"You guys don't turn your locations off on Snapchat. I was on and I got worried." Calum answered and Luke narrowed his eyes at him. "Is he okay?"

"No thanks to you."

"Lu-"

"- You gave him those pills, didn't you?" Luke angrily approached him. "You introduced him to drugs. You encourage him to get high all the time to forget his problems. You-You helped him hurt himself."

"I didn't think he would -"

"You..." Luke brokenly jabbed his finger into the Maori boy's chest. "You're an idiot." He whispered.

He was drained. Emotionally exhausted. Mentally gone. He didn't want to pick petty arguments in his boyfriend's hospital room.

"I'm sorry, Luke."

"Don't apologize to me." The blond swallowed thickly as he crossed his arms over his chest. "In fact, keep my name out of your mouth."

"Don't be like that," this time it was Ashton who was speaking. "- it isn't his fault Michael's mentally disoriented."

"He used to tall to me. He used to come to me and it worked until he started giving him drugs. Don't give me that." Luke told the older blond as he pushed his glasses up his nose.

He turned around when he heard a creak and his heart fell as he saw Michael's hand shaking. His fingers stiffly curled around the metal bar and in the blink of an eye, Luke was right there by his side holding his hand to his chest.

"Michael?" He asked hopefully as he saw his eyes move beneath his eyelids. "Are you awake, baby?"

His eyes squeezed shut, and his mouth quivered as his eyes pulled open with a gentle flutter of his eyelashes. He was staring right at him with those emerald eyes and Luke smiled with tears prickling the corners of his eyes in a gentle sting. The air was cold, but his body burned hot. He can feel the jelly in his bones as his boyfriend blinked once, twice, then three times.

"Am I dead?"

Luke felt his tears fall as he shook his head, his lips trembling as he gave him a broken almost shattered smile. Michael didn't tear his eyes away from him and Luke didn't care about their friends in the doorway when his Michael was awake and staring him straight in the eyes.

"No, baby, you're okay. You're with me." Luke told him and he smiled as his fingers curled into the distressed neckline of Luke's shirt. "You're here with me."

And if Calum and Ashton cried seeing them share a moment, no one had to know. Not when the two stepped out, shared a knowing look, and then walked off to find a doctor or nurse so the two could have their moment for just a moment longer.