My insecurities

I invented the middle child syndrome

"First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the treasure chest.", I'd run around the house yelling. To which my brother would retort "first is the best, second is the worst, third is the one with a hairy chest.". My older brother was the smart one of the house. Always reading books acting all nerdy and what not. He got whatever he wanted and had the most authority. My younger sister was the baby of the house who never disobeyed mom and was always snitching on us. She was the perfect child. Growing up I felt adopted, like i was the odd one out. For the longest time I thought It was because my mom named me with the letter s when mom and my two siblings were named with the letter a. In a family of people who got good grades, here I was with mediocre grades and not interested in text books. Id rather paint and daydream. I didnt know where I fit in. Imagine, an identity crisis at the age of 4 XD. I was super goofy, loud, always putting on shows for my family; I always tried to be the centre of attention. In that aspect, I was a go getter. Anytime I was feeling neglected I would do something crazy that would for sure get everyone's attention and at the same time make them ask themselves if we were really related. I remember when I was 8 or so I was feeling especially neglected so I decided to announce to my family that I was running away from home and that they would never see me again. I packed up some candy, a water bottle, and some chips in a pillow case and marched out the front door... to the front porch. I was hiding under the bench waiting for them to search for me. My mom could see me from the gaps in the bench. So she sat on the bench and started talking to herself. " my poor daughter I hope she's ok. She shouldn't get lost, I hope she comes back home because it's not safe out there and I love her very much. She's my favourite out of the three." That last line did it for me. After she got up and left I crept back in the house and gave her a big hug. I used to wish I was an only child so I could have all of moms attention, but what would I do without my main irkers Ant and Abucheese.