Atypical Love Story

Promises, Promises

I had sex with Evan again.

Yeah, I didn't know what came over me to do that.

Maybe I just wanted to feel something other than the hurt.

But as expected.

It felt the same like it did during our first time, that we actually did it.

Would that mean that I'm still in love with him? Because if not, then I should have felt differently about it. Right?!

Oh, please tell me I'm right.

Because again if not, I'll be in deeper shit than I was before.

"Urg!" Why does it have to be so damn complicated?

That night after I talked to Izzie, I went straight to Evan's house, not caring if its a school night. I texted Elsa that I will be spending the night at Izzie's house.

We went straight to his room after he opened the door.

It felt a little weird at first but it was okay as we go on.

He told me he loved me and I felt so guilty I just kissed him hard so that I won't have to say it back.

He is my best friend and I trust him.

But lately, the feelings I should have for him is what I am feeling now for Izzie.

It was leaning towards being a platonic love.

I think I've got my feelings mixed up and fell in love with my best friend while loving my boy friend as a friend.

But as they say, you can't help how you feel.

I stared at him while he was sleeping.

I needed to do this. I need to end things with him. I said to myself.

Izzie was right, it is not fair.

But how can you break some one's heart when all they did was make you happy?

It was never that easy.

I might be in love with Izzie now but I can't just decide to leave Evan.

He was my best friend, and it was enough before I knew her.

But this is unfair with Izzie too.

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

I kissed his forehead and hope that someday he can forgive me.

Maybe tomorrow, I promise, Iz.

~~

I have imagined a lot of scenarios in my head on how this day should go, but not once it has occured to me to see Nate waiting for me.

What does he want now? This is not a good time for him to piss me off.

"Hey." He awkwardly greets, which I purposely ignore so I walk straight, passing by him.

He jogged ahead to catch up with me.

I am so not in a fucking mood for this. "Go away, Nate." I glared at him.

He raised his hands showing me that he meant no harm, "Sorry, I just wanted to talk."

I scoffed, "Not in a million years, so move!" I start to walk pass him, but he seems like he is determined to talk to me.

"I'm sorry I tried to kiss you Casey. But I've already learned my lesson, I swear. I didn't mean it, I got just confused and I was a dick for thinking you were flirting with me too."