Wanderlust (Kellic)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10 - Fear of Falling

I don’t fall asleep after we get back to the hotel. I can’t stop replaying the scene over and over in my head, of our kiss on the bench. There’s no doubt in my mind that Vic really does have a thing for me—even I can figure that out by now—but just like always, he pretends that we don’t have anything.

I lie awake the whole rest of the night, staring at him in his bed and thinking about him. I think it’s definitely safe to say that I’ve fallen for him, and that’s a thought that terrifies me. What happened the last time I fell for someone? He died, and—as stereotypical as it is to say—I think a part of me died with him.

I can almost picture Jordan lying right next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer so that my back is up against his chest. He’d play with my hair and rest his head close to my ear, sometimes biting at it playfully. “I love you,” he’d whisper.

And then I’d say it back, feeling like, for once in my life, everything is right.

That’s what I want with Vic, but it’ll probably never happen, and even if it does, it’ll just be taken away. It always gets taken away.

Always.

Why? Because people always leave. Sure, some stay longer than others, and some don’t mean to leave, but they all go away eventually. Life really sucks like that.

Maybe I’m not in too deep. Maybe I can stop giving in to Vic, stop letting him kiss me and touch me and tell me sweet things. Maybe, if I can push him away, he’ll stop chasing me. Maybe I can get over these feelings that I have for him before it’s too late.

—

Go to Barnes & Noble (the one at North State Street). Search the children’s section (yes, the children’s section) for a book that most definitely does not look like it belongs in the children’s section.

Damn it, Bree.

"Just watch," Vic says as we walk through the front door of Barnes & Noble. "It’s gonna be porn or something."

I laugh. “Yeah, probably. Guess we’ll have to find out.”

Just like with the playground, as soon as we start searching for the clue, parents give us a bunch of weird looks. I can’t say I blame them—it’s not exactly common to see two twenty-one-year-old guys tearing up the children’s section. A couple of them even lead their kids away from us.

We look everywhere, from behind stacks of books to underneath the shelves. Finally, after it seems like we’ve gone over every possible hiding place in the section, Vic calls, “Kellin, I think I found it!”

I head over to where he’s standing, in front of one of the shelves. He holds up a random children’s book that’s suspiciously large before pulling another book out of it. This one is not a children’s book. This one is a book of sex positions. Gay sex positions, to be specific.

"Oh my God," I say, trying not to choke on my laughter. "Bree is such a pervert."

"See, I told you it’d be porn," Vic says, flipping through the book and making various faces of exaggerated interest at some of the pictures in it. "Oh, yes. I am definitely getting some whips and chains," he comments, and I laugh, blushing a little at the sudden thought of him taking his clothes off.

Whoa there, Kellin. Back it up.

At that moment, a piece of paper falls out of the book, and Vic grabs it off the floor. “And there it is. The paper that once again seals our fate.”