7 Reasons Why

Chapter 6

A happy ending you thought , isn't it ? No , you're wrong!
High school was never something 'happy' for me !
Let's go on .
Well we can now talk about Elina Eliot just as I promised previously . I never break promises , you see -NEVER !
Promises -that's how Elina entered my life . Before I start , I want to make something very clear for your ease of understanding for things get really complicated here .
Elina was gay . She didn't really tell me until my 'doom day' . She always kept shoving the fact away but you see sexuality is something you can't simply shrug off . You have to learn to live with it .
Well coming back as I said Elina was gay and I'm not . This is where it gets complicated .
Introverts always tend to get together . In fact everybody does want to get together with their kind of lot . Elina was my type . She moved in from Marrywood where Papa wanted me to move to during the Mr. Morris controversy but I denied . Elina faced bullying issues there . That's when I realised all schools are the same . None is better than the other . Its the people in there that matters .
Elina had a younger sister-Sharon . She was already into Middleton . Both siblings were like fire and water ! Sharon was that typical famous nerd . She was a year below us . She had a mean girl group of her own and I think she didn't like me just like her parents . Neither did her sister like her . They always fought - like always ! And not like siblings, they genuinely hated each other .
Elina's parents were not like those 'your life , your rules' type . They always had to poke into Elina's life . Sharon was of the opinion that things were different before I came along . "They didn't bother her as much before . They think you make her insecure !"
"But I didn't do a thing ! And why is Elina insecure ?"
"Oh don't take any notice of her dude ! She is crazy ! Come over to my room ."
I made multiple attempts to get the truth out of her but no . She just wouldn't give in .
Elina's dad was a Catholic priest and her mom was a highly religiously lady . They were strictly against bisexuality .

My health was improving . Harry potter's wizardry I guess . It was a weekend and the weather looked perfect for a long drive . I decided I really needed a break just like Elina had said . I figured out I eould be dead by now if she weren't there so I wanted her to be with me on my 'break' .
Perfect weather huh! Yeah perfect for the shock !
If you're thinking I drove and crashed the car into another lady or probably killed Elina , it's nothing like that .
I did drive but there was no accident . It was papa's half blown up bugatti which was now completely repaired , I drove . I was driving after a long -very long time .
I wanted to surprise Elina so I went to her house without informing her which was not a very good idea on my part . I happened to encounter Mrs . Eliot in their lawn . Now you cannot be rude to elders no matter how unpleasant they are .
"Hey Mrs. Eliot , how you doing ?"
She was clearly not pleased to see me . She was sitting in the front couch , admiring her garden . It was worth it . The Eliot lawn was always what you could call perfect ! The grass trimmed neatly , shrubs and bushes snipped in various shapes and the boundary was bordered with various flowering plants .
"Why are you here ?"
"Ummm...I just came to meet Elina . I thought we could go for a day out . Its the weekend and I've nothing in particular to do so-"
"You don't have work doesn't mean Elina doesn't . She is quite a busy one . You can't simply barge in anytime you like and take her away ! "
"Oh I'm sorry if I was disturbing . I didn't really mean to 'barge in' . "
"Don't you ridicule me girl ! I've had enough of you . You better stay away from my daughter . I know very well what kind of an unholy girl you are !"
Before I could say anything , Elina came out through the front door to check on the commotion .
"What's happened ? What's going on ? Hey Perrie ! Oh my god , what a surprise . When did you come and how ?"
"Well ...I drove ."
"You did , oh my!"
"I just came to ask if you would like to go on a long drive . I guess I really need a 'break' ."
"Yes you do ! Give me a minute . I will pack up some food and we could go . "
"No ! You're not going anywhere ! You will stay in and help me cook dinner for the guests coming tonight !"
"Oh I'm really sorry if I'm interfering . I could go alone . Not a problem . "
" No you're not and I'm going with her . You get it mom . I've had enough of your nonsense guests . I've no interest in cooking for people who would come over from far and wide only to jabber about religion and politics and stuff ! I mean come on that's old people stuff ! What have I to do in there?"
"You're not going , that's final !"
"Yes I'm. Perrie go and wait for me in the car . I'll be back in a minute .", and she jogged off to get all the initials .
The look Mrs . Eliot gave me ! I guess if I stayed there another second, my murder would hit headlines the next day ! "Good day Mrs. Eliot !", and I hurried off to my car .
Elina appeared beside me soon enough and we started off .
"Do you think Mrs. Eliot will be okay ?"
"Oh never mind her . She is just too impossible ! "
"You sure you'll manage ?"
"Oh yes ! "
We headed towards the country . The city was no good for a drive between all the traffic . As we proceeded , I increased my speed . On the left there lay a boring field of dirt , mud and waste . On the other side there was a kind of forest bordered with tall , green trees . Their barks beautifully carved and branches interwining, some of them touching the ground .
Me and Elina talked about random stuff -books , memes , songs , movies , literally everything except one...it was coming alright!
"Dude it's been an hour you're driving . You must be tired . Let's stop somewhere and have some lunch . "
"Oh man I'm enjoying like crazy ! I'm driving after months ! But I'm hungry so we could stop . "
I drove for around half an hour more until we found a park . Now if you've ever been into country , your probably know the parks here are far better than the city ones ! Multicolour flowers bloomed all over . The air was fresh and bore a sweet scent . The grass beneath our feet was green , soft and springy . It simply bent when we stamped over it but did not break . The ground was moist . The sky was slightly grey covered with clouds like patches of white cotton in the bright blue background .
We continued walking until Elina found a spot good enough . There we sat and she unzipped her backpack .
"Man did you kidnap your kitchen or what !"
She had everything , like literally everything! Fruit salad , potato chips , grilled sandwiches , wraps , hot dogs , hamburgers , chocolate cakes , olives , pita bread and sushi .
For drinks she had lemonade and diet coke .
She found my question a very hearty joke . She was just laughing when Mrs. Eliot called . It cast such a dark aura but Elina cut the call . I managed not to comment .
"Guess we've better matters to attend to . Why don't you start ?"
"Yeah ok... "
We were just talking when Mrs. Eliot called again . Elina cursed angrily and slammed the phone down .
"Hey , hey calm down now . "
"What the fu*k is wrong with her ! Why can't I've my own way sometimes !"
" Dude cool , cool !"
Elina was fuming with rage . I couldn't contain my curiosity anymore .
"You help me all the time . If there's any problem , you can tell me . Maybe I can help . "
"Well... I may have to tell you this someday...but...maybe some other day..."
"If you've to tell me anyway ,why not now ? I may be able to help . "
Elina sighed heavily . I could see she was getting nervous . I got confused . I couldn't see what could be that weird , that she has to be so edgy !
"Oh come on , you can tell me . I'm not going to eat you up !"
"That you definitely won't but..."
"Elina really?"
"Okay fine !"
That's when she told me about her gender .
"Oh man I'm okay with that. Boy -girl-gay-lesbian whatever you're, you're best friend !"
Elina flushed red and started blushing . I wouldn't lie , I felt uncomfortable .
"Well ....it doesn't end there ....and...."
"And? "
" And see I don't really expect much but ....you know I kind of fell in love ....with you ."
For a minute an awdward silence followed which felt like ages . Cool breeze blew by . I knew I had make a decision and I did not have my whole life to decide . I knew she was asking for some intimacy which I never felt . Maybe she knew it was a hopeless case but you never call out to love , it simply comes to you .
I guess my facial expression was enough for a reply as Elina's happy face drooped down pretty soon . I can't really comprehend it . It was a very blank face I'd made. I was just too stunned .
"See....you said what you had to but you know what ... you're my best friend . You're the sister I never had ..."
She knew it and yet she waited for me to finish . She was waiting for that hopeless hope and I , the evil one had to destroy that too !
"I love you , you know . I promise -I really love you- my best friend ... but I cannot be your lover ....I'm really sorry . I never saw you that way ...."
Elina was just staring at me transfixed . I cannot say what she was thinking but I realised I had nothing else to say so I shut up . I felt so stupid .
"Well obviously ...what did I think ...you're my best friend too . "
She was smiling . You may think wow it's done . What's the big deal but that pain when you're heart is broken by that one person you thought would love you with all that it takes , I could see that on her face . It was a very painful smile .
"Man I'm a sorry ..."
"Oh that's fine . "
I was buried under guilt but I was helpless . I didn't know what to do . I wanted a beak and I spoilt it and we returned home . We hardly talked on the return journey .
I eanted to talk but I could not find words good enough . When Elina's house came she went off, " See you at school ."
Okay so that means we weren't meeting anymore during the weekend . Fine....
I wouldn't any I'm guilty because I'm not gay or I couldn't love a girl but thsi girl , she was my best friend
She had saved my life , brought me out for drugs, given me a new life ...infinite number of favours and today she wanted just one in return -just one and I couldn't give it .
I felt like I was torn apart . I was disgusted with myself but what could I've done !
Elina tried to ease the feeling. She could see my distress and tried to assure me all the time that is was alright . She really did not mind but I knew better of it .

When the Christmas holidays began , Sharon arranged a house party for whatever reason I never knew . Obviously I wasn't invited but Elina insisted I should come .
"See I ruined your long drive . Thsi is my compensation . Dude you've to come . Please !"
After much reluctance I agreed . The shock came to me gradually . A week into the holidays and Elina disappeared into nothingness !-like simply vaniahed in thin air ! If I called her , she wouldn't pick up , I tried texting but she was offline on social media for days . I went to her house to check what was wrong but half the time the house was all locked up or there was only Sharon who would be all drunk most of the times or would shoo me away , "That's no end of your business girl ! Elina is gone for good !", and she would slam the door on my face !
Only later did I find out that I had lost my best friend forever . But I swear I kept my promise - I stopped smoking and I still love her . I miss her terribly !