Cupcake Kisses

Chapter 4: But I Always Wear a Condom?

Chapter 4: But I Always Wear a Condom?

"I feel sick," Alice whispered from the desk beside me and I nodded weakly in agreement.

I knew there would be a lot of blood and screaming, I just hadn't quite prepared myself for a full thirty minutes of it. Despite the title of the video 'The Miracle of Birth,' I could see nothing particularly miraculous about the whole thing.

"Keep pushing! Come on, you can do it!" A nurse screamed at the poor woman lying on the hospital bed.

The group of boys sitting behind me all groaned in unison, causing Coach Parkinson to stand up and glare at them.

Last period on a Friday afternoon I, along with twenty or so other students, had been forced to watch the birth video. Sex Ed has never been one of my favorite subjects. After witnessing the first two minutes of this video it had definitely become my least favorite subject.

There was another five minutes or so of screaming and pushing (and groaning from all of us) before the woman was handed a small pink creature that looked vaguely like a baby (a say vaguely with great emphasis). The video ended shortly after, with some slow cheesy music playing in the background.

After shutting it off, Coach Parkinson sauntered to the front of the class looking pretty smug. "And that kids, is why you shouldn't have sex."

There was a moment of silence before one of the boys behind me piped up, "Not going to stop me, Coach!"

Coach Parkinson pressed his lips together tightly, glaring at all of us. "Well, that's exactly why the school has decided to introduce something new to this topic. Now usually we give you all an egg or a bag of flour and tell you to look after it for a month as if it were your own child. However, that doesn't seem to do a lot. This year, we've got something a lot better."

"Don't tell me you're giving us real babies to look after?" Alice asked, sitting up straight with her eyes wide open in panic.

Coach Parkinson lifted up a large box from his desk and smiled at Alice. "Unfortunately Alice, I don't think that's possible. However, we do have the next best thing." He stuck his hand into the box and pulled out what appeared to be a plastic doll.

From where I was sitting, it looked perfectly harmless. In fact, it looked like something I would've enjoyed playing with back when I was a kid. You know, dressing it up in cute outfits and pretending it was a real baby.

"You're making us look after a plastic doll?" Alice asked, pulling a face.

"Ah," Coach Parkinson began, "but this is not just any old plastic doll. This is the ultimate plastic doll."

We stared at him blankly.

"Inside this baby there is a recording device, a speaker and a sensor. This baby knows when its being looked after. It knows when its being held or when it's been dropped. This baby will cry. And it is your job to keep this baby happy. Do you understand?"

We nodded at him.

"Good. Now, you will be pleased to know you will not be looking after this baby alone. I have assigned you all partners."

I cursed under my breath. Why did we have to be assigned partners? I hated all group and partner work because I was usually too awkward to work anything out with the other person and then I ended up doing all the work alone at the very last minute. Not fun.

"I've also made sure to send an email to your parents, letting them know about the project so they're prepared," Coach informed us. "Now, I'll read out the pairs and you'll be handed your baby."